Yukkuri Story
by Cyberchao X
Summary: It's hard out there for a yukkuri. Rated M because no child should have to be exposed to the grim world of the yukkuris. Chapters 4 and 5 also contain short stories supplemental to Chapter 14 of The Adventures of Team 9 Catering.
1. Yukkuri Story

Yukkuri Story

by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: _Touhou Project_ is property of ZUN.

This is the story of a very peculiar Yukkurisa. For you see, for some reason this yukkuri was primarily attracted to Arisukkuris. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem because Arisukkuris are naturally attracted to Yukkurisas, but like most Yukkurisas, this one wanted to be the "father", not the mother, and Arisukkuris naturally want to rape other yukkuris.

Finally she managed to get the jump on one—a very surprised one. "Yuu! Alice doesn't want to be the mommy!" The Alice's natural response was to start shooting custard at the Marisa-type.

"Yuu! Drop dead easy! _Marisa_ wants to be the daddy!"

"So…tsundere?" The Alice-type was confused. This was the exact opposite of what most tsunderes did, but it was nevertheless a complete lack of submission. Soon, both Marisa and Alice had multiple stalks forming. "Alice can't take it easy like this!"

"Marisa will help Alice take it easy," Marisa said. "Marisa and Alice will have lots of babies!"

Alice felt that it had been one bad day after another. She had recently been separated from her troupe, and now she had pretty much been on the receiving end of a refreshing. _"This Marisa is not tsundere…this Marisa is yandere," _she thought. "Ma…Marisa?"

Having spent a lot of time near Alice-types, Marisa had plenty of experience moving around with stalks. It was only through sheer resiliency that she had survived so long after repeatedly being burdened with multiple stalks, but she had never actually given birth to any koyukkuris, either because the sheer number of stalks had caused them all to become malnourished and wither away, or because she had been attacked by a Remilia or a Flandre and been forced to use the stalks as a lizard might use its tail, to get away. Marisa didn't care about those koyukkuris, though, because they hadn't been the product of love. "Marisa wants to take it easy with Alice."

"Yuu…okay."

* * *

><p>Weeks passed, and the koyukkuri grew. Alice, however, was still unhappy about being pregnant, and had tried on multiple occasions to get rid of the stalks. Marisa was not happy about this, but she still helped Alice to take it easy. After a number of days, however, rain came. Marisa was able to get back towards their cave quickly, but soon realized that Alice was lagging behind. "No…Alice is melting…Alice just wants to take it easy…"<p>

"Alice!" Marisa came back out and summoned all her strength, and…slammed into one of the stalks, breaking it off. "Stay with me! Marisa will protect you and the babies!" Marisa didn't quite realize that her hat was barely able to cover her and her own stalks, let alone Alice and hers, but she did realize that Alice was not as physically fit as Marisa and that she had been slower with two stalks than Marisa was with three.

"But Marisa just broke Alice's stalk! Those babies will never be able to take it easy!"

"But if Alice dies, none of the babies would be able to take it easy!" They made their way back to the cave where they had been staying. That day, Alice gained a new respect for Marisa.

It wouldn't be long before Alice returned the favor, as the day after the incident with the rain, a Remilia-type attacked Marisa near the cave. Marisa tried to get back to the relative safety of the cave (actually wouldn't have been very safe at all, as the cave entrance was large enough for the Remilia to fit through and there would have been no escape), but tripped and fell under the weight of her three stalks. Alice saw this and came out, shooting her custard at the Remilia and getting it right in her eyes, temporarily blinding her. "Get up easy!" Alice cried. The Remilia thrashed around and grabbed one of Marisa's stalks, and Marisa strained and strained to get away. Alice lashed out at the stalk with her Peni Peni, and it broke off. She then turned her Peni Peni tentacles on the Remilia, using them not as tools of rape but as weapons—although given her physiology, the two sort of blended together. In pain from the beating and inherently sensing the risk of pregnancy, the Remilia fled.

"Alice…saved Marisa," Marisa said.

"Of course. What kind of country bumpkin wouldn't help a yukkuri in trouble? Especially a nice one like Marisa."

"Yuu…" Marisa said. However, she wasn't the only one.

"WAAA! ID HURSH EAJY!"

Marisa and Alice went back outside and looked at the stalk that had come off in the Remilia's attack. One of the koyukkuris had been crushed by the Remilia's grasp and two more had splattered upon contact with the ground, but the last one had landed softly enough that it had survived. As they moved towards the little Ko-Marisa, the babies on the stalks began to drop as well. "Dage it eajy!" they all cried. 5 Marisas and 3 Alices from Marisa's two stalks, and three Alices and two Marisas from Alice's lone remaining stalk. Adding in the slightly damaged baby that fell ever so slightly prematurely, there were a total of 8 Ko-Marisas and 6 Ko-Alices. But there was no time to take it easy just yet. The littlest Marisa was hurt.

Marisa-mommy was the first one there. "It's okay, little Marisa! Mommy will Lick Lick and make it all better!" The baby instinctively Rub Rubbed against its mother. "Mommy!"

Seeing Marisa reach the baby first, Alice slowed down. "Babies come here easy! Marisa-mommy will take care of little sis Marisa. Stay with Alice-mommy!"

"Awish…mommy?" one asked, confused.

"Awish ij nod Mawisha'z mommy! Mawisha ij Mawisha'z mommy!" declared another.

"Alice and Marisa are both mommy!" Alice insisted.

"No," argued one of the little Alices, "zidy-shegd Awish ij daddy!" The Ko-Alice rubbed against the big Alice.

"Daddy!" the other babies agreed. Meanwhile, Marisa had picked up the little Marisa and put it on top of her hat, carrying it back. "Mommy!" cried the babies, running (or trying to) over to Rub Rub with their mommy. "Dage id eajy!"

"Take it easy, ze!" she agreed.

* * *

><p>Over the next few days, Marisa and Alice tried to convince their babies to think of Alice as "mommy" as well, but to no avail. This was but a minor detail, however, as the babies were all too happy to stay with Alice-daddy as Marisa-mommy went out to gather food. Truth be told, Marisa <em>was<em> mommy to most of the babies—9 of the 14. At least, it was nine of fourteen _for now._ The Ko-Marisa whose stalkmates had been dead before birth was still very sickly, and it was tough enough to feed such a large family as it was. "Why gan'd widdwe shish Mawisha dage id eajy wige ush, ze?" one of the Marisas asked.

"Widdwe Mawisha ij a gunchry bumpgin!" declared an Alice.

"Widdwe Mawisha should dwop dead eajy!" agreed a Marisa.

"STOP! Don't say that!" the grown Alice said that. "City-sect yukkuris help each other out!"

"Bud daddy, we'we aww so huuuuuuungwy!" whined one. "Wesh shishtaz meanj mowe food fow ush do dage id eajy!"

"Yuuu….chu!" The little Marisa sounded as though she was sneezing, but every time this happened, a bit of black bean paste came out. "Mawijja ij zhowwy…Mawijja ij nod a goo yugguwi wige big shiddaz…"

"There, there, now, you're a fine yukkuri. It's okay…take it easy…"

"Whewe ij mommy, ze?"

"Mommy will be back real soon," Alice said, gently Rub Rubbing the little one. Who had fallen asleep again…which meant it was one of the _other_ eight Marisas that had just asked that question. "I think…"

"Mommy haj been gone a wong dime," an Alice said.

"Y-yeah…yeah, she has," the big Alice agreed, eyes widening. Even with the amount of food that she needed to collect, Marisa had been gone for too long.

"Mawisha wiww dage gawe of widdwe shish, ze," the Marisa who had first asked about her mother said. "Go find mommy!"

"Awish wiww hewp! Go find mommy!"

"But…"

"Go find mommy!" the other 11 koyukkuris agreed. Having just heard some of her children express hatred towards their littlest sister, Alice was worried about its safety…but better to raise 13 koyukkuris with Marisa's help than 14 koyukkuris all alone. She would lose far more that way…

She headed off in the direction that she thought Marisa had gone. She was almost ready to turn around and try looking elsewhere when she heard the familiar voice. "Yuu…waaa…Marisa doesn't want this! Marisa wants to take it easy!" Alice extended her Peni Peni, using it as a wheel to help speed her along towards the sound of her distressed mate, but stopped short and ended up tripping and falling flat on her face as she heard the response to Marisa's cries. No…no…

"Ohoooo…so tsundere."

* * *

><p>A rape troupe…an Alice rape troupe. Not a predator like a Remilia-type, or worse, a bird. Not one of those nasty things known as "humans", which Alice had only heard stories of, creatures that would do things that would make yukkuris <em>wish<em> for death rather than just killing them. No, her precious Marisa was being assaulted by a group of Alice-types. _Her_ kind. And as she willed herself to continue on, to try to help Marisa, she found that it was just as she feared.

This was her old troupe. These were the yukkuris she had grown up alongside, her sisters and cousins and other relatives. A strong troupe, led by an ancient Alice that had managed to survive long past the usual life expectancy of a yukkuri—"great-grandma Alice", she called her, though it was possible that she was even further removed. Many offspring _had_ gone off to form their own troupes, but the majority stayed with the elder's troupe, because it was safer there. Would they even recognize her? Many of the more distant relatives didn't, but her sisters and mother did. "Alice! You're okay!"

Alice was in tears. "St-stop it…Marisa is special…"

"A-Al…ice…" Marisa had dealt with multiple stalks before, but never this many—and never this soon after having grown stalks.

"Go away! Leave Marisa alone easy!" Alice cried, waving her Peni Peni angrily at her former troupe.

"Alice wants to refresh too?" one of her younger sisters asked.

"No! Marisa is special! Marisa is mommy to Alice's babies!" She was completely freaking out now, lashing out in every direction, at the other Alices, at the numerous stalks that threatened to envelop Marisa's body…and, without meaning to, at Marisa herself.

"Ow! It hurts, Alice!"

"Ma-Marisa…Alice is so sorry…Alice never meant to hurt you…" Alice was crying. The troupe sensed that their former comrade was highly upset, and besides this Marisa couldn't be used for any further refreshing, so they left.

"It's not Alice's fault. It was…those bad Alices…" The stalks were gone, but Marisa was still weak.

"B-but…Alice is one of them! Alice did that to Marisa too! That…that was Alice's old troupe. Alice's sisters, cousins…mommy…" Even though her instinctive reaction was to deny it, her younger sister's offer was _extremely_ tempting. It had been so long since Alice had refreshed…

"Take it easy, ze!" Marisa shouted with all of her might. "Alice needs to take care of the babies!"

"No! Alice needs Marisa!" She forced the sweet foods into Marisa's mouth, helping her to recover. "Marisa needs to bring food back for the babies!"

"Yuu! There's not enough!"

"Alice…Alice will not let her babies starve. Alice would give them her own custard."

"No! Alice must live easy, ze!"

"Alice does not want to live easy. Alice…Alice is a country bumpkin who can't take it easy anymore."

"Alice…" Marisa rubbed against her mate, trying to cheer her up.

* * *

><p>"YUUU! WED MAWISHA DAGE ID EAJY!" As Marisa and Alice approached their home, they saw many of their babies outside, trying to get further away from the cave and scraping their "feet". "ID HURDZ!" an Alice cried.<p>

The source of the first scream, however, was not found. Marisa quickly counted the babies, but unfortunately couldn't count high enough. She knew that there weren't enough of them there. "Where are your sisters?" she asked.

"Big shishda Mawisha and big shishda Awish shdayed bagg do pwodegd widdwe shish," one of the Marisas said. The cries from within the cave went silent, and as Marisa huddled up the remaining eleven koyukkuris, Alice advanced towards the cave, ready to fight whatever horrible monster came out. What came out was…not much larger than her babies? The small green-haired yukkuris scattered as soon as she Puff Puffed up, scared of the larger yukkuri. A trio of Wriggles…a predatory species, but also a small one. Typically they prey on dead or dying yukkuris, but a group of defenseless koyukkuris made for a far better meal. Three of their babies, dead…Marisa gave the other eleven food and licked their wounds, and the two parents carried their offspring back into the cave. There were still remnants of the three dead babies on the floor…the two eldest ones had defended their little sister to the end. 6 Marisas and 5 Alices remained.

"Alice…Alice will bury them." Alice pushed the remnants out of the cave, towards the lake. She was hungry, as the babies needed all the food they could get, and there had been none for her. And although she had put her feelings aside when her babies needed her, she still felt depressed over what had happened to her Marisa. It would be so easy to just continue into the water herself, follow her dead babies and die. "No…Marisa would be sad if Alice left. Alice must be strong for Marisa." Alice reflected on their relationship. She had heard of, even _seen_, Alice-types who didn't rape…they had no ability to use their Peni Penis the way the rapists could. It was because she was born a rapist-type Alice that she was able to protect Marisa and the babies…Marisa was so much stronger, but it was Alice who was able to stand up to a Remilia. But Alice wasn't a rapist anymore…even though she desperately wanted to refresh.

A non-bodied Nitori-type had the misfortune of leaving the water at that moment. Alice gave in to her instincts and raped it, becoming refreshed. It wasn't as pleasant as her refreshings had been in the past, but it satisfied her primal needs. Then a light rain began to fall, and Alice headed back to the cave.

"Daddy!" the eleven koyukkuris cried, noticing that Alice had taken light water damage. They all rubbed and licked her until she was better. Such smart babies…

* * *

><p>Winter came, and the family had stored up quite a lot of food. However, there were other issues to worry about…<p>

"Tage it easy wif me!" cried a Ko-Alice, advancing on one of its Marisa-type sisters with Peni Peni extended.

"No! No refreshing with your sisters!" Alice scolded. What truly amazed her, however, was the Ko-Marisa's response…

It extended a Peni Peni of its own and tried to penetrate the Ko-Alice.

"No! It's wrong to refresh with sisters! You need to find other yukkuri to refresh with! And…refreshing with unwilling yukkuri is wrong!" How did this happen? She had never raped anyone in front of her children. She hadn't taught them this…and how was it that even the baby Marisas had her power?

No…not all of them. All five Alices had the same Peni Peni-manipulating powers that she had, but only two of the Marisas did. The two that had grown on her stalk, she realized. The Alice that had been trying to refresh with this Marisa…she was one of Marisa's babies. No, that wasn't right; _all_ of the babies were _both_ of theirs, but this was one of the babies that had grown on Marisa's stalks. She could instinctively tell that the Marisa-type that had died in the Wriggle attack had grown on Marisa's stalk, while the Alice-type had grown on her own. The two remaining Alices from her stalk would eventually prove to be the most ravenous, sexually speaking… This behavior was unacceptable. Alice refused to be a rape troupe leader.

"It will be okay," Marisa told her. "Just take it easy."

But Alice didn't want to take it easy. Alice was still disgusted with her inherent nature.

* * *

><p>Spring came, and the family went out to look for food together. The koyukkuris were still not fully grown, but they no longer slurred their words, and their abilities were manifesting. The Marisa-types were able to shoot a weakened version of the Master Spark, though it was even less impressive than the one their mother possessed (which was still absolutely nothing compared to the real Marisa), and the Alice-types were gaining better control over their Peni Penis. "Take it easy!"<p>

Marisa and Alice suddenly heard a flapping overhead. Marisa had heard that sound too many times, traveling solo as she had before finding her Alice. The wings of a Remilia-type…but there was another sound, an unfamiliar sound. A tinkling sound. Marisa looked up. "That's not right, ze…"

Apparently they weren't the only couple that had managed to take a normally antagonistic relationship and make it work (though being yukkuris, they didn't use such large words to describe it). Flandre-types usually abused Remilia-types as a pastime, but these two were clearly very close…and the Remilia was hanging back and appeared slightly bloated, as though a koyukkuri might be developing inside. "Guu…!" cried the Flandre.

"Uuu!" cried the Remilia. They both attacked, the Flandre aiming for the two largest targets while the Remilia went for the easier targets. Both were carrying crude imitations of their namesakes' weapons, and the Remilia gleefully impaled multiple koyukkuris on the faux-Gungnir. "Good!"

"Help! Babies can't take it easy! …Marisa can't take it easy!"

Suddenly, a barrage of onbashira pelted the Flandre. "Good job!" cried a voice. The Remilia, seeing its mate under attack, stopped attacking and fled, with the Flandre following shortly behind. Marisa and Alice were safe, but they had lost more babies. Three Marisas and two Alices…there were only three of each variety left. Alice noticed disdainfully that two of the Marisas that had been taken were from Marisa's stalks, and found herself wishing that both of her abominations had been carried off rather than just one. She instantly chastised herself for this, though. "Is Marisa-sis okay?"

"Marisa…sis…" The mother Marisa's eyes lit up. "Big sis Reimu!" Marisa's mother was a Reimu-type, and she instinctively recognized this Reimu as one of her older sisters. Accompanying her sister was a Yukkunae and a group of young yukkuris, a mix of Reimus, Kanakos, and Suwakos, not quite fully grown but too old to be called koyukkuris. They had probably been born two cycles ago, one cycle before her babies. "Uh…Reimu-sis's family is weird, ze…"

"They are _not_ weird! Sanae's babies are beautiful!" Reimu had long since gotten past the fact that none of her babies resembled her mate.

"I command you to apologize!" said one of the Kanakos.

"Okay…Marisa is sorry. Kanako is very beautiful."

"I command you to apologize to Suwa-sis!" another said.

"Yes, yes, Suwako is beautiful as well."

"Hmm hmm hmm… but cousin Reimu is the cutest of all…ze."

"Wha-waah! Yuuu? What are you doing, Marisa?" the younger Reimu cried to the Ko-Marisa.

"So tsundere…"

* * *

><p>CCX: Well, that's it. This wasn't easy, if I may, because I have a natural tendency towards happy endings, and yukkuri stories seem to never have happy endings. Hopefully I managed to do okay.<p>

* * *

><p>Edit 54/11: Okay...this was not exactly the response I expected. _This_ is a happy ending? I guess that the fact that there are any yukkuris at all that aren't either dead or insane makes it more optimistic than most, but over half of the babies died, Alice is still filled with self-loathing and thinks of her own children as abominations, and the story ended with a _rape_. Still seems pretty damn grim to me. Still...I guess this pretty much confirms my position on this story. Even though I published it as "complete", I was considering continuing it, and the next stage would have gotten a lot darker-the typical yukkuri torture, a lot of mind games...the presence of even just the one rapist Marisa would allow for a lot of craziness, and remember that Marisa originally wanted to be the daddy...so any future babies would _all_ have Alice for the mommy.

This was also an interesting story given that I was just taking a psychology course. A true study of nature vs. nurture.

Now let's get back to the lighthearted stuff.


	2. Another Yukkuri Story

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

CCX: Yeah, just couldn't leave well enough alone…

Disclaimer: Um…something. You know, now that I think about it, I've been seeing fewer disclaimers lately…or am I just so used to them that I've started ignoring them?

"What happened out there?" I asked. My yukkuris had no answer for me, just apologizing repeatedly. I sighed. "Just go back to the basement and heal yourselves up. I'll bring you some food later."

Just then, the Kimeemaru that had decided to ally itself with me arrived, bearing further news regarding the situation with the group of wild yukkuris that had managed to fight off my precious Remilia and Flandre. It told me of what had gone on afterwards, with the Marisa-type showing the same rapist tendencies as its Alice-type mother. "A rapist-type Marisa, huh…" Perfect; I had a Reimu in captivity that seemed to specifically want a Marisa-type. Might as well teach it a lesson about being careful what it wishes for… "Tonight. Show me the way. We're going to capture these little yukkuris."

Under the cover of darkness, the Kimeemaru and I crept up to the yukkuris' home and snatched away the little ones. "Should we take the parents, too?" she asked.

"No, not at this time. Their despair should be interesting…and with any luck, they'll try to fill the void with more koyukkuris. Come, now, we don't want them to wake up." We returned to my house.

"This was…very good. I think we'll have a very long and prosperous partnership."

"Oh, do you now?" Then I took out a meat cleaver and killed the abhorrent thing. Kimeemaru are atrocious-looking things, and their tendency to see themselves as equals with humans made them abominations as yukkuris. "Oh Remi-chan, Flan-chan! Dinnertime!"

* * *

><p>"Huh? Where's Mr. Sun?" asked one of the young Alice-types.<p>

"Mommy, where's Mr. Sun?" The little yukkuri received no reply. "Mommy?"

"Mommy? Daddy? WHERE ARE YOU?" A Marisa asked frantically.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy!" I said, and they instinctively replied in kind. "I'll be taking care of you for awhile."

"Mister? Where's Mommy and Daddy?" one of the Marisas asked.

"And Marisa's cute cousin Reimu?" asked another. So that one must be the rapist Marisa.

"They're back at your old home. Take it easy, they're doing just fine." I also took out a special marker that would only be visible under a black light and marked the hat of the rapist so that I could tell which one it was.

"Did Mommy and Daddy not want us?" an Alice asked.

"Uh…well, no, but…such big and strong yukkuris don't need to depend on Mommy and Daddy anymore."

"Who are you, mister?" I gave them a name. "Are you a human? Daddy says humans are evil."

"I'm not evil," I told them, "but yes, I'm a human."

"Evil!" They all chanted.

"I'm not evil!" I repeated.

* * *

><p>For the next ten days, I took care of the group of yukkuris, getting them used to being around me and to me taking them away one at a time. On the eleventh day, I brought in the black flashlight and picked out the rapist Marisa, and brought her to meet my Reimu. "Marisa! Mister human found Marisa for Reimu!"<p>

"Yuu…Reimu is so cute, ze," the little yukkuri replied, anticipation evident in its face. The Reimu's red bean paste pushed against the surface in a remarkable approximation of blushing at the compliment.

I placed the Marisa in the Reimu's tank and watched as the latter attempted to engage in a simple Rub Rub, only to get forcibly engaged by the former's Peni Peni tentacles. Wow, that Kimeemaru wasn't exaggerating…this Marisa really was just like an Alice. "Hau…Take it easy, Marisa!"

"Take it easy!" replied the Marisa while completely failing to do so.

"Marisa is being too rough!" protested the Reimu. "Reimu can't take it easy like this!"

"So tsundere, ze," mused the Marisa. Oh, this was just too much.

Once the Marisa had been thoroughly refreshed, I removed her from Reimu's tank and brought her back to her sisters. I then went back to Reimu. "So? What did you think? Did you enjoy your time with Marisa?"

"Yuu…Marisa needs to learn how to take it easy," Reimu replied. "…But Reimu will teach her!" Hmm, not broken yet…but there would be plenty of time. Already she was starting to sprout bean stalks, and the Marisa was still just a yearling—too young to produce viable offspring. Reimu would soon be having deformed babies. Just then, a pained cry came from the basement. Huh, speaking of babies…

I fetched the new Eirin I'd acquired. "Come on, Dr. Eirin. It's time for you to deliver a baby."

"Eirin will do her best!"

* * *

><p>As we entered the basement, Flandre hungrily eyed the Eirin, but didn't move from her mate's side. I told her, "Dr. Eirin's here to help Remi-chan deliver her baby."<p>

"Kyuu…so I can't eat her, mister human?"

"Flan-chan! I can't believe you'd be that selfish! Remi-chan is having your child! That takes a lot of energy, and then what about the baby?"

"Kyuu?"

"Take it easy."

"Take it easy," she replied. Before long, the grown Remilia had given birth to a beautiful baby Remilia, already showing the vestiges of having a body of its own. That was no surprise; both of its parents were bodied, so it would only make sense that the baby would be as well. However, while all bodied yukkuris have disproportionately large heads, a newborn's head-to-body ratio is especially far out of proportion, leaving it essentially helpless as its only method of locomotion would be that of a bodiless yukkuri, moving along on its "foot" (which is pretty much its chin) and this would be especially painful as its body would drag on the ground and likely get cut up. This is probably why so few bodied yukkuris are found in the wild—evolution actually favors the bodiless ones at the koyukkuri stage, even though the bodied ones have an advantage when fully grown. This little Remilia was lucky, though, because it had two loving, able-bodied parents to take care of it until it could handle itself. Flandre readied her Levantine. "Now is it okay?"

"Yep. But you know that you have to wait until Remi-chan and baby Remilia have had their fill, right? Also, they regenerate quickly, so you'll have to eat fast."

"Uh-huh! Flandre will be a good daddy to ko-Remilia!" Then she beat the Eirin to 'death', as it were, and fed her to the two Remilias. I wasn't sure that it would be enough for all three unless the Eirin started regenerating, so I went and extracted some more filling from the Mokou-types I kept. Very useful, those yukkuris—they regenerate mortal wounds, so I could keep taking away a third of their bodies and filling and feed them to my special pets, and the remaining two-thirds would regenerate into a full Mokou by the next day. Of course, by this point they knew what my appearance meant for them, so I had to wear a flame-retardant suit when handling them. I only needed to take one piece on this day, though, because of the Eirin. I returned to find Flandre happily feeding baby Remilia while the mother Remilia chowed down. "Dage id eajy, mishda!" the little one said happily.

"Take it easy," I replied, smiling. "I brought some more food for you. The usual."

"Thank you mister!" Flandre and Remilia replied. Remilia, showing more energy than I would have expected from her given that she'd just had a baby, flew over to take the parcel from me. "Here, Flandre, give baby Remilia some of this."

"Oh? Don't you think it would be better if she ate the Eirin right now?"

"This stuff is bitter. I don't like it," the mother Remilia replied.

"It's good for her. It'll help her grow big and strong."

"…"

I smiled. In addition to the Mokou bun, I had also brought the sugar bowl down to the basement. I knew that Eirin-types were filled with medicine, and that it would most likely be bitter, so I mixed some sugar into the doctor's remains. "Try it now."

"…It's good! Thank you, mister!"

"Dangyu, mishda!" parroted the little one. Warms my heart. The Scarlet Yukkuris get a bad reputation because they kill and eat other yukkuris, but they're really not that different from other yukkuris where family is concerned.

…Still, I'm definitely glad that mine had a mammalian birth with a single baby. I've heard stories of newborn ko-Remilias eating each other.

* * *

><p>Unfortunately, the warm and fuzzy feelings didn't last long. Apparently my favorite little Marisa had shared the details of her visit with Reimu with her sisters, because the Alice-types puffed up angrily as soon as I entered the room. "Why does Marisa get to refresh? Alice wants to refresh!"<p>

"Alice wants to refresh!" the other two parroted. Great, what now? I didn't have it in the budget to acquire more yukkuris as refreshing partners, not to mention the cost of feeding them…then again, I didn't want to dull the rapist instinct. I'd learned that apparently, their mother's love (all of them referred to the Marisa as their mother, even though it seemed likely that some of them—the rapist Marisa for one—were born from a stalk on the Alice-type) had led to a change in their father's behavior. She was actively trying to _fight_ her nature, denouncing the idea of "refreshing" with "tsunderes" in favor of more consensual relations. The description of the battle in which my pets were defeated, however, suggested that she still had full use of her Peni Peni-altering abilities, which true non-rapist variants didn't have. It almost made me wish I _had_ taken the parents…they would be interesting, especially the self-loathing Alice. Well, no use worrying about that now…perhaps a little trip into the field would do me some good. That evening, after I thought the wild yukkuris would be asleep, I crept back out to their home. I was quickly attacked by one of the Kanakos that had assaulted my yukkuris in the past. "It's a human! It's a human!" she cried out. Damnit, weren't yukkuris supposed to be stupid? The little community had apparently started having at least one yukkuri awake at all times to act as a guard, likely spurred on by the kidnapping of the yearlings. None of the yukkuris that were spurred into action mentioned the babies, though, so perhaps they _had_ forgotten the reason they had started posting a guard and now merely believed that it was something they'd always done. I left, a bit bruised but happy, as I saw exactly what I was hoping for.

The Marisa-type did not have any stalks. The Alice-type had _two_. This little tribe seemed more than capable of surviving in the wild…so why not let them be for now?

On my way home, I received a call from a friend and fellow yukkuri owner that answered my other problem. "I've got a bunch of yukkuri that just showed up, they're really annoying. They smell kind of funny, they're eating everything in my house whether it's food or not, and when I tried to feed them to my Yuyu she ate one and then refused to eat any more."

"Your _Yuyu_ wouldn't eat them? Did she get sick?"

"No, she was okay, but she said she didn't like them and they tasted like bad Remilia. Which is weird because as far as I know she's never eaten a Remilia-type."

"They're filled with rotten meat? Any idea what they're called?"

"Nope. But they have a seal on their heads like those reanimated corpses."

"Hmm…well, I don't know what I'd do about their appetites, especially if they're eating non-food items, but as long as they aren't eating other yukkuris, I may have a use for something that won't be used as food." I explained the situation with the Alices. Also, upon further reflection, the fact that they ate non-food items could be a mixed blessing, as just about any old thing I found could serve as food for them. Hell, I could use them as a trash dispenser; it could actually _save_ me money. He brought them over. Their ability to consume anything was, mercifully, limited by the size of their mouths. I made a note to bake some extra dough onto their mouths so as to prevent them from eating yukkuris, since it was established that they would eat them if given a chance. Once they had been modified, I carried them to the room where I had been keeping the six yearlings.

"Mister? Yoshika is hungry easy!"

"Yoshika? Your name is Yoshika?" The yukkuri nodded.

"Well, Yoshika, you can eat later…but first, it's time for you to make some new friends." The Alices looked over the pale yukkuris, hesitant at first, but eventually decided that they were a viable outlet for their pent-up sexual frustrations. Once that was finished, I cut the stalks off and fed them to the Yoshikas, who of course happily ate them. _"They really can turn anything into sustenance…also, they really do smell like rotten meat._"

* * *

><p>Over the course of the following week, I observed the Reimu covertly, noticing that whenever she knew I was there, she acted cheerful, but when she thought no one was watching, she appeared very depressed. The needs of multiple stalks were draining her. Very soon, the babies started to drop off the stalks—too early, of course. The babies were deformed; some of them couldn't even be distinguished as to whether they were a Reimu or a Marisa. "Dek id iji," one managed weakly.<p>

"T-take it easy," its mother replied, trying to contain its emotions. As more and more of these deformed buri yukkuris dropped off the stalks, she started to lose it. "Why are Reimu's babies so ugly?" she raged.

"It's because you're a bad mother," I told her. "You didn't care for them enough, and now they can't take it easy."

"No! Reimu is a good mother! It's all the fault of that bad Marisa! She's…she's not Marisa, she's…a bad Marisa!" I got the feeling that she wanted to call the rapist Marisa a fake Marisa, but didn't know the word. "She looked like Marisa, but she wasn't!"

"Now, now, that's not a very nice thing to say. You're a very bad yukkuri. Now, take care of your babies. They need food." I watched the Reimu try to find food, so caught up in the idea of being a good mommy that she completely forgot that she only ate when _I_ brought food to her. The koyukkuris, for their part, just made various noises which rarely resembled words.

Mother Reimu was fed up. "Stop crying, babies! Stop crying! …EAT!" She shoved one baby, it seemed to be a Marisa, into the open mouth of another. "Babies eat easy! Babies take it easy!" Each baby stopped crying after being fed one of its sisters, but there were an odd number of babies and the mother Reimu still had enough sanity not to feed a "good" (non-crying) baby to a "bad" one to shut it up, so she ate the last one herself. I picked her up and carried her off to the kitchen. "Ah! Stop, mister human! Reimu needs to be with her babies!"

"Reimu just _ate_ one of her babies and fed half of them to the other half," I replied. Her eyes widened as she realized what she'd done. "And now Reimu needs to be punished."

"Reimu…is a bad mommy…"

"A _very_ bad mommy," I agreed, lighting a match.

She stared at the flame, apparently finding it to be pretty, but then I touched it to one of her hair flaps, then the other, and then the back of her hair. It all lit ablaze. "IT'S HOT! IT HURTS! REIMU CAN'T TAKE IT EASY! IT BURNS!" The yukkuri bounced around the counter, trying to stop the fire and failing. I was afraid she'd set something else ablaze.

"Get in here. It will cool you off, and it will make you feel all better. It's orange juice," I told her, getting a pot.

"No! Reimu doesn't believe mean mister human! Mister human wants to hurt Reimu! Reimu saw mister human take that pot from mister stove!"

"If you don't, you're just going to burn up. What do you have to lose?" Despite being halfway baked, she came to the conclusion that if she jumped in, she _might_ live (though she doubted it), while if she didn't, she _would_ die. She jumped in. It was, of course, nice cool orange juice, just as I'd told her. The pot had indeed been on top of the stove, but the stove hadn't been turned on all day. The flames extinguished, I removed the slightly misshapen yukkuri before the regenerative powers of orange juice did _too_ much. I was quite pleased to see that most of her hair remained in the pot after I removed her. Her hair flaps were completely gone, and her ribbon was badly burnt up. She would likely be shunned by any other yukkuri. A theory I would have to test soon. But first…

"What? Babies come here easy!" The babies weren't actually _going _anywhere, because they couldn't move very well, but they still cowered from the sight of their mother. "Where are you taking Reimu's babies?"

"They're afraid of you. They saw what you did. They know you're a murderer. Besides, I thought you didn't like Marisa's bad babies?"

"Give back Reimu's babies!"

I took a few of the babies and fed them to baby Remilia, keeping the others in the freezer so that I could feed them to her at a later date. Young Marisas and Reimus, even buris such as these, would still be a sweet treat for the little one.

* * *

><p>Reimu was still near-bald and without a proper accessory when the first viable ko-Alice was born from one of the Yoshikas. After the incident with Reimu, I decided to keep one stalk on one of the Yoshikas after each refreshing session, which would provide a gauge as to how well the yearlings were maturing. Once I had determined that Reimu would be able to have real babies if refreshed, I brought her into the siblings' enclosure.<p>

"Siblings". It still amazed me that these little pastries could understand the concept. Though they no longer seemed to have any memory of their life prior to being taken into my care, they still recognized each other as family. I actually tried separating the Alices from the Marisas for a long enough period of time that they seemed to forget about each other, but when they were reunited, the Alices instantly recognized the Marisas, even the non-rapist ones, as their sisters and therefore invalid targets for refreshing—although it was clear that they considered the lone rapist "one of us" whereas the other two were merely "our sisters". It was shortly after this experiment had ended that I brought Reimu in, and of course, her eyes lit up upon seeing the Marisas. "Marisa!" she said excitedly. "Reimu is here!"

"Reimu? No, you're nothing!" one of the Alices said.

"Scary!" said one of the Marisas.

"Just a country bumpkin who can't take it easy!" cried another Alice.

Reimu started to cry. "WHY WOULD YOU SAY SUCH MEAN THINGS TO REIMU!" Reimu, with the typical yukkuri memory span and no sort of mirrors to see her own image in, was completely ignorant of her appearance.

However, one of the six was _not_ so cruel. Indeed, this yukkuri, which started out as a mere curiosity, was quickly becoming a favorite of mine who would likely be kept indefinitely. She gave what could only be described as a mischievous grin. "Reimu was hurt, ze! Marisa will make it _all better_." She began to lick the wounds, even though there weren't really many there to begin with (her body was almost completely fine, it was just the lack of hair and accessories that was problematic). Reimu calmed down.

"Marisa, what are you doing?" one of the Alices asked.

"She looks sad. I want her to be happy. You can join in if you want, ze," she said, Peni Peni appearing and digging into the Yukkureimu.

"…Pass."

"More fun for Marisa, then."

Once the Marisa was good and refreshed, I brought Reimu back to her own container. She seemed…happy. This particular raping wasn't traumatizing, maybe because the mere fact that Marisa still _wanted_ her when all the other yukkuris shunned her was comforting. Oh, well…there will be plenty of time to make this experience traumatic later. Just to be on the safe side, I waited until Reimu fell asleep and removed her tattered ribbon, making her completely without an accessory. Marisa, with her penchant for Yukkureimus (I remembered her mentioning them when she first arrived, too), might still accept her looking like that…but what would the babies think?

* * *

><p>This time, the koyukkuris stayed on the stalks for a proper two weeks, and all the while I gave Reimu plenty of nutrients so as to keep up with the demand of carrying three stalks. "Dage id eajy!" they all cried. Ten Marisas and six Reimus…a good ratio given the circumstances of the impregnation.<p>

"Take it easy! Reimu is mommy!"

The babies looked up at their mommy and screamed. "Mommy? Yaw nod mommy! Yaw _shgawy!_"

"Mawisha wansh Daddy!" one of the young Marisas said.

"Daddy!" the others cried.

"Daddy's not here. I don't know where daddy Marisa is." Well, she remembered that much. Did she remember that "daddy" was a rapist?

"We wand Daddy!"

Reimu was becoming visibly irate. "Well, take it easy!" It wasn't the usual calm greeting, but an angry-sounding command bordering on a threat. Her rage seemed to be directed more towards the ko-Marisas than the ko-Reimus.

"What's the matter? Babies not listening?"

"These babies are stupid! Bad Marisa made more bad babies!"

"Do you really believe that? I think you still care about your babies." Reimu just pouted at me.

I picked up one of the ko-Reimus. "Hi, mishda!" it exclaimed happily.

"Take it easy," I replied, taking the left side of its hair and yanking it out. As the baby screamed out how much it hurt, I also took the other flap and pulled that off, although I left all of the other hair on that side so as to make it uneven.

"NOOOO! STOP HURTING REIMU'S BABIES!"

I picked up another one in one hand, while the other held a metal rod that I'd heated at one end. I touched the hot end to the little one's eye and burned it off, and it cried, "ID HURDSHHHHHHH!"

"STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!"

"I don't think you're being a very good mother. You're playing favorites, aren't you?" I picked up a third ko-Reimu and seared the bottom of it, crippling its ability to move. "WEIMU'J FUD HURDSH! ID'SH DOO HOD!"

"No! Stop it!" The fourth ko-Reimu got its mouth burnt shut. "Please, stop hurting Reimu's babies!" The fifth one was struck across the back with the hot rod and had its ribbon and hair bands removed. "If you have to hurt babies, hurt bad Marisa's babies!"

Just what I'd been hoping to hear. She _had_ separated the babies into "hers" and "Marisa's" and only accepted the young Reimus as her own. I _gently_ took the last ko-Reimu and, out of the sight of the young ones, carefully removed its ribbon and replaced it with the one that had until recently belonged to her mother. The little ones, for their part, didn't notice any difference, even though the ribbon was clearly not the same vibrant red as those of its sisters (or even its own hair bands), nor as whole. For she had no scars, and she had an accessory, and that made her the prettiest Reimu in the room in her sisters' eyes. Well, there was the third one I'd abused, which looked fine but was unable to move. The little yukkuris were angry at me, and I didn't have any further reason to be in there, so I left them to their own devices, albeit with a camera recording everything that was said and done in the room. Within a day, there were considerably fewer yukkuris. The ko-Marisas sensed that their sisters were hurt and blamed the big scary mommy, who lashed out at them and seemed even scarier than before, and while the scarred Reimus grew closer to their equally scarred mother, the fact remained that the lone unblemished ko-Reimu was now wearing what was unmistakably _her_ hair ribbon. From the babies' perspective, though, the ribbon belonged to the little one, and when big Reimu tried to protest, it was an all-out assault. The little yukkuris were too weak to damage their mother, however, so they ended up just bouncing off at best and being thrown off at worst. Only six of the babies remained when I returned the next day—Reimu had tried to spare "her" babies, but ribbonless baby and half-haired baby were among the casualties—the one-eyed one obviously didn't attack because of its bad eyesight, and the lame one _couldn't_, and the one with no mouth, well, it would be dying soon anyway. The one who I'd given her ribbon to, however, had also failed to attack, and in fact, when I looked at the video from the morning, I'd found that the few Marisas who had decided to retreat after seeing their sisters killed nearly started up again, but stopped when that little Reimu explained that Mommy didn't _take_ her ribbon; she _gave_ it to Mommy. I actually kind of felt bad about the psychological experiment I'd put them through. For her generosity, I returned the little Reimu's hair ribbon (claiming that I'd "gotten her a new one"), and I took the other three to be treated. While it couldn't heal them right away, rubbing orange juice on the wounds helped, and I even opened up the one Reimu's mouth. Mother Reimu barely even noticed that her kids had gone, though they cried out when I arrived, and completely failed to notice their return. I think I had finally broken her.

* * *

><p>A few months later, I received a new shipment of yukkuris, only to be dismayed that they were a breed I already had—more Alices. Well, looks like it's time for a new experiment…what happens when these new Alices are placed with the family of Marisas and Alices? Naturally, the foreign Alices immediately went after the Marisas…but what would their Alice sisters do?<p>

"No, no, no! Marisa-sis is one of us!" The Alices joined the rapist Marisa in trying to knock away the new Alices' Peni Penis with their own.

"Huh? One of us?" The Alices that had gone for her noticed the Marisa's Peni Peni manipulation. "This is perfect! She can refresh this country bumpkin tsundere sister!" Whereas most of the Alices had gone after one of the three Marisas (I found it notable that the trio of Alices I'd already had did nothing to protect their non-rapist sisters), one of the new ones hadn't gone after any at all. _"A rare non-rapist Alice…_" I thought, as my favorite Marisa happily obliged and refreshed with the "tsundere Alice". These little creatures were certainly entertaining…but this was just an experiment, and the new Alices would have to be taken care of. Along with the stalks from the other two Marisa, I put the Alices in a box labeled "Food Supply". Lots of yummy custard for my cute little Remilias and Flandre.

* * *

><p>The next shipment was a real delicacy in waiting: a pair of curious little Chen. It was quite tempting to try to acquire a Ran or two, as their sexual appetite for Chen was legendary, to the point that they would rape their own children from a previous tryst with a Chen. However, I felt that my miniature rape brigade would be sufficient. I plopped both Chen in and watched the quartet get to work…actually, even the non-rapists were trying to Rub Rub with the Chen. Were the Chen that alluring, or were the other two Marisas tired of seeing their sisters have all of the fun? The Chen sprouted numerous stalks—if everything went well, the number of baby Chen could be in the low fifties. Of course, it would be a very trying experience to keep a yukkuri alive and healthy when it's bearing over twenty babies, and I had <em>two<em> such yukkuris. From a naturally small species, at that. Time to enlist some help, from the most matronly figure I had—Yukkureimu. (Well, the most matronly figure that wouldn't see the Chen as food, anyway.) I explained it to her. "I'm trying to help these Chen to take it easy and have lots of babies, but it's going to be really hard because of how many there were. Do you think you could help me when I can't be there for them myself?" The Chen were rendered practically immobile by the weight of the stalks, so Reimu took care of them when I was away, using the resources I provided. A few stalks started to wither, so I quickly broke them off (Reimu protested this, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't convince her that Chen would be healthier that way), but after ten days, there were still 43 babies nearing birth, and my "rape brigade" had done exactly what I'd hoped (I must be treating them well; they like me)—provided me with a majority of Chen. I set up cushions all about for the babies to drop onto, and Reimu volunteered to help catch them with her soft body. She was really recovering well—being a mother, and then a caretaker for a pair of mothers-to-be, had improved her mental state, and her hair had almost completely grown back, to the point that I felt she deserved a proper set of accessories. However, there were certain moments where her anger flared up again…including when she looked at the soon-to-be-born koyukkuris, many of whom were already speaking. 25 Chen, 14 Alices, and 4 Marisas. These last four made big Reimu very angry, which of course the Chen "didn't get." The babies were born, and there didn't seem to be any complications. The trio of mature yukkuris were massively overworked, as with Reimu's six babies in the mix as well there were nearly fifty babies and just three adults, but they prevailed, and I found it impossible to separate the two families.

…Perhaps a bit _too_ inseparable, actually. Unlike wild yukkuri who only mate once per year so that their babies are born at an optimal time, domesticated yukkuri who are always fed as if it were the most bountiful season tend to believe that it always _is_ the right time, and therefore never hesitate to be affectionate to one another. The gang of 43 wasn't even a month old when Reimu started to swell up, just as my Remilia had. _"A Mamu Mamu birth?_" It was pretty obvious which Chen was the one getting super affectionate with Reimu. What would be a suitable punishment? I looked up at the ceiling fan and got an idea. I turned it off, took the expectant father Chen out to a chorus of protests from its offspring (I noticed that while some of the koyukkuris called one Chen "mommy" and some called the other one "mommy", _all_ of them called Reimu "daddy"), and tied its tails to the fan. Then I started it up. "I don't get it! Uwaaaaaaaaurgh…" I stopped the fan, and the dizzy little yukkuri vomited. Pity I wasn't prepared; Chen are filled with delicious milk chocolate, and I could have collected more. I put the Chen back into the tank (Note to self: buy bigger tank), walked out of sight but not out of the room, and waited for the yukkuris to forget that I was there. It would be interesting to see how they would treat the Chen, who had just lost a lot of filling.

"Awish wiw hewp!"

"Awish wiw hewp Mommy!"

"Awish wiw hewp Aundie Shen!"

The other koyukkuris also tried to "help", but could not induce themselves to expel any sort of filling from their bodies. The Alices, though, used what would eventually become their seminal filling but was, at this immature state, just custard to fill up their mother/aunt. As much fun as it was to torture yukkuris, it was also immensely interesting to watch them adapt to life, and I felt as though I finally understood how such easily abused creatures managed to survive for so long.

…Of course, I was still breeding Chen for food purposes. Might be tough to work out how we'd do that in this state…maybe once the koyukkuris are a bit less reliant on their parents, I could separate the other Chen from Reimu and her mate. Probably bring a lot of her kids with her, too. And, of course, we'd want Rans for that; self-propagating system.

* * *

><p>Winter passed fairly uneventfully. Neither Reimu nor Chen remembered having previously been raped, and pretty much just ignored the fact that a number of their babies were neither Reimus nor Chen. Any behavior unbecoming of Reimus and Chen, however (such as the Alices' Peni Peni manipulation or the Marisas' failed attempts at using Master Spark), were met with physical rebuke from the strict mother Chen. I decided to transfer them over to their true fathers' tank, which had some hilarious results as the koyukkuris and their parents failed to recognize each other and both sides attempted to refresh with the other ones before they realized that they were part of the same family, at which point the elder Alices quickly lashed away the stalks growing on their non-rapist sisters because raping your aunt just ain't cool. (No one had commented on the fact that Raperisa went after her cousin shortly before I acquired them, but then again, they've probably forgotten all about that by now.) Meanwhile, the other adult Chen was mating with my new Ran, although this was a slow process until the young Chen became old enough to mate as well.<p>

I had also found a new source of sadistic entertainment. Upon being exposed to the Chen, the grown Ran would try to rape anything in sight, which would provoke violent reactions from the koyukkuris (even the ko-Rans), who would bite the Ran and try to tear her apart. They would often tear a hole in her, which was enough to stop the attacks long enough for me to pull her out, and then later the koyukkuris and their mother would eat the Ran's filling. Still, nothing could compare to good old-fashioned abuse. The ko-Chen were more valuable, even still, so I took out a ko-Ran. Grabbed it by its tails. Windmilled my arm around, smacking it against the edge of the table on every pass. "Cheeeeeeeeeeeeen!" it cried out. "Ran can't take it easy!" I continued, snapping off one of its tails and force-feeding it to the koyukkuri. Then I got another idea. While their eye color is different, Ran-types and Alice-types have similar hairstyles and both are blonde. I pulled off all of this Ran's tails and removed its hat, replacing it with a headband just like Alice wears. Then I dropped it into its aunt Chen's tank and watched as it cried out "Cheeeeeeeeen!", only to be seen as a dirty Alice and bitten to death by Chen that were at the very least cousins and at the very most half-siblings. They ate the rice-filled bun happily.

* * *

><p>Spring came, and with it, wild koyukkuris becoming yearlings. "Hey, Alice, Marisa? If I let you go outside, will you come back to me?" I asked.<p>

"Of course, mister human!" all six two-year-olds replied. "You take care of us!" The little ones wanted to come as well, but I told them that they were too young and provided them with lots of bean paste to keep them satisfied. Then I led the six yukkuri sisters to their former home and told them that there were some yukkuri back there that they could refresh with.

All six lit up at the idea—I got the feeling that even without the mad rapist skills that their sisters had, the two "non-rapist" Marisas were just as sexually ravenous as the other four. Perhaps there was more nurture than nature to their behavior after all, something that the presence of the "Raperisa" initially seemed to be at odds with. "But you can't mention me," I told them, "wild yukkuri often don't like the presence of humans." They didn't understand _why_ yukkuri would dislike humans, but understood the command and I was able to observe from afar.

Much to my dismay, the older Yukkureimus had left the group (aside from the mother that was apparently my yukkuris' aunt), and although new Yukkureimus had been born, these wouldn't make for viable babies as they were only yearlings. Of course, they were hardly the only yearlings. Marisa and Alice had 8 beautiful babies, 4 of each kind. Marisa looked as strong as ever, but Alice…Alice was worn out. Trying to curb her babies' hunger was a daunting task, and seeing the four Raperisas… The eight yearlings went after their older sisters of the opposite kind, and vice versa (well, except for _my_ Raperisa, who not surprisingly went straight for her Yukkureimu cousins. The elder Marisa and Alice were quite overjoyed to see their children again and attempted to Rub Rub, only to be rebuffed by the pure pheromones the babies exuded. "What happened to you? Don't you recognize mommy and daddy?"

"Mommy and daddy…" They slowed down. "Mommy! Daddy!"

"No!" protested one of the yearlings. "Mommy and daddy are too city sect for you!"

"Drop dead easy!"

The Suwakos and Kanakos, for the most part, just watched this drama play out. The Reimus were a bit frightened, though my little darling had a lot to do with that. The Sanaes didn't see anything, because in the confusion I managed to sneak in and snatch them up. Such a rare breed, and so many in one place…also, they showed a complete lack of the incest taboo that my own yukkuris seemed to have. It seemed as though certain pairings overrode that taboo, such as Suwako/Kanako and Ran/Chen. Once my work was done and enough confusion had been sown among the wild yukkuris (the yearlings seemed conflicted, angry at the intruders for trying to claim their mother and father for they, but quite enamored with the pretty yukkuris), I called, "Okay, time to come home easy!"

"Take it easy!" they replied, then turned back to the wild ones. "Goodbye easy!" Just as I'd hoped, the yearlings followed their older siblings.

"Wait! Babies come back! Come back easy!" Alice cried.

"Come back, ze!" Marisa called. Eh, might as well take them, too. I'll even let them stay with the current group of yearlings for now. The six two-year-olds, however, were my special pets, behind only my Remi-chan and Flan-chan in my heart. They would remain in their own room.

"Take it easy," I told them, and they calmed down as they replied in kind. Hmm…ever since I moved the other Chen and her babies to a different tank, the huge tank I'd gotten for Reimu's (over)extended family had room enough for ten more, even when eight were yearlings and two were fully grown. And what better to shake up that happy little family than another quartet of Raperisas? I just had to hope that these four shared their older sister's preference for Reimu-types.

* * *

><p>A flapping noise greeted me. "Little Remilia is all grown up and ready to go out on her own!" my favorite Remilia said.<p>

"Flandre will be the mommy this time!" said Flandre, the slightest hint of a bulge showing.

"Uguu! Remilia will be a ztrong hunter, and will find Zakuya!" the younger Remilia said. The Scarlet Yukkuris were by nature rather independent, operating in groups of no more than two (and only that many if they took a mate, as mine had.) Sad as it was, the time had come to let the little one go.

"Okay, you can go…but if you leave now, you'll miss out on the special treat I got for all of you?"

"Uu! Remilia wantz zpecial treat!" I brought it out. "Uu? I don't zee it…"

"Ooh! Ooh! It's a Daiyousei, right?" Flandre asked.

"Very good, Flandre! You get the first taste."

"Sugoi~~!"

Yes, it was a very rare yukkuri, but due to their ability to go almost completely unnoticed, breeding it would be next to impossible. This was the best option.

* * *

><p>I brought the two elder yukkuri and their yearlings to Reimu's tank, watching as Reimu's natural love of Marisa-types resurfaced. "Marisa? Is it really you this time? Marisa!" She gave a greeting form of Rub Rub to the father. The children then proceeded to follow their instincts, trying to refresh with both the mother Reimu and the koyukkuris as the parents tried in vain to stop them. Alice was pulling her children away, telling them that what they were doing wasn't nice.<p>

Chen, meanwhile, was livid. "I DON'T GET IT!" she screamed, biting one of the Marisas and smacking another one into the wall of the tank with her tails. The one that hit the tank was dazed but okay, but the one that was bitten was snapped in two.

"No! Bad Chen!" I told her, "You do _not_ bite other yukkuris apart!"

"But they were doing bad things to Chen's Reimu! And to Reimu and Chen's babies! And, and Marisa wants to steal away Reimu from Chen!"

"That's not true!" Marisa shouted. "Marisa loves Alice!"

Meanwhile, the act of being raped by the Marisas seemed to be stirring up some forgotten memories in mother Reimu. "No…NO! STOP IT! Those, those are more of the bad Marisas!" Seeing Alice trying to keep the children under control, Reimu turned on her. "You…YOU'RE THE ONE, AREN'T YOU? You made those monsters that attacked Reimu and Chen!" I was so amazed that Reimu had shown so much insight—she hadn't actually _seen_ the Alices and Marisas rape Chen, but remembered that they had given birth to Ko-Alices and Ko-Marisas and managed to figure it out—that I inadvertently loosened my grip on Chen. Fortunate, too, since she probably would have bitten me to try to get free had I held on much longer. She jumped back into the tank, and the two of them turned on Alice.

"What? Alice doesn't know what Reimu is saying! Alice just wants to take it easy!"

"Alice made those bad Marisas!"

"Bad Marisas…" She thought about her own children, and realized that Reimu was referring to them. "Alice is a bad yukkuri…"

"Alice is _not_ a bad yukkuri!" Marisa protested, but Alice wouldn't listen. She was depressed, and didn't fight it as Reimu and Chen attacked her repeatedly. She wanted to die. I wanted her to live. Reimu wasn't a threat; she didn't have any sort of attacks that could seriously harm Alice. Chen was another story, however; her teeth would be dangerous. I picked her up again, having already turned off the ceiling fan the _first_ time I picked her up.

"Uwaa! Let Chen go! Chen wants to be with Reimu!"

"Nope. Chen needs to be punished." I tied her tails to the ceiling fan again.

"Chen is a good girl! Punish Alice! Alice is bad!"

"Don't want to." I started the fan up again, and again the little yukkuri spun around and around until the centripetal force pushed her filling against the top of her head, stretching it and eventually making the filling come flying out.

"NO! CHEEEEENNNN!" Reimu cried.

I didn't expect to be able to collect the filling anyway, so it was a mild consolation that the majority of it landed right in the yukkuris' tank. The rapists and their victims put aside their differences and went to eat the delicious chocolate, and I used the opportunity to separate the little rapists from their victims. Keeping them together could be fun in short intervals, but in the long run it would just cause more headaches—especially with both the victims and the rapists being too young to actually reproduce. (Mercifully, no stalks actually grew, not even on Reimu. Odd, the yearlings should have at least been old enough to cause _that_…) Of course, I couldn't really keep them with their older sisters—I saw how poorly that worked out in the past.

The parents, on the other hand, could stay. They were a happy couple, not rapists. This would, of course, make for some great drama.

"It's all Alice's fault! Alice killed Chen!"

"Alice didn't kill Chen! That mean Mister Human killed Chen!"

"Mister human did it because of Alice! It's Alice's fault!"

"Stop fighting!" Marisa said. "Babies are gone! Where are Marisa's babies?"

"Marisa had bad babies!" Reimu replied.

"Bad babies!" Alice agreed.

Marisa rammed into Alice, hard. "They're Alice's babies too!"

"Alice had bad babies," Alice said. "Alice is a bad mommy." Marisa slammed her again. Had she any hands, she probably would have slapped her instead. Reimu started hitting her, too. Alice did nothing, until she noticed something else going on in the tank. "Babies STOP easy!" The babies had enjoyed the taste of the milk chocolate filling that had come from the late adult Chen, and with it all gone, they went after the only source left in their tank: each other. The little Reimus tried to eat the little Chen as well, but could only eat the filling out of those that had been bitten open by other Chen. Whoops, looks like I screwed up after all. Now, how can I maintain this without having to get a different tank for every Chen?

I separated them temporarily, and then I pulled all of their teeth out before returning them to their tank. Toothless Chen aren't much of a threat to anything.

* * *

><p>Alice continued to be unhappy, while Reimu continued to hate Alice—especially after the little Chen, having forgotten all about their mother (and, mercifully, how tasty she was, as they'd finally stopped trying to eat one another), started calling Alice "mommy". Marisa was trying everything she could think of to make Alice feel better, but unfortunately her efforts were only making things worse, as she attempted to mount her partner and make more babies—the absolute <em>last<em> thing Alice wanted right now. This also made Reimu unhappy, since Alice's protests made this Marisa, by default, a rapist as well, albeit a more conventional one than the Raperisas she'd fathered. (CCX: Wasn't she always? The story pretty much _started_ with Marisa trying to impregnate an Alice before it could impregnate her.)

Before long, the first batch of Chen had matured enough to produce viable offspring. The Rans I'd gotten from the other Chen were still too young to satisfy these Chen's desires (as they naturally wanted to mate with Ran-samas), and the adult Ran was, well, a bit obsessive (it turns out that most Rans _aren't_ rapists, but I managed to get one that was.) Their yearling siblings might actually still recognize them and choose to abstain, but Alice and Marisa's yearlings wouldn't, and seeing as how they had never actually met these children, the parents—now fully grown in their own right—probably wouldn't recognize their children either.

Alice and Marisa would recognize their children. Reimu would probably recognize them as well, having been raped by one of the Marisas and shunned by the other five, and also having seen that her Chen had given birth to Alice-type and Marisa-type children. (Reimu still seemed to remember the late Chen, even if their children didn't.) Perhaps some psychological torture was in order.

I removed the three adult yukkuris from the tank and put them alongside one another in a smaller tank, where they could easily see Reimu and Chen's children. Then I brought in Alice and Marisa's children, all thirteen of them. Reimu and Chen's children also numbered thirteen—four Reimus from the Raperisa, eight remaining Chen from the Alice/Marisa rapefest (12 of the 25 Chen belonged to this Chen and 13 belonged to the other one and were moved there; four of the 12 were killed in the chocolate frenzy that followed the mother Chen's death), and one Reimu born mammalian-style from Reimu and Chen's union. It was a perfect storm.

"NO! STOP HURTING REIMU'S BABIES!"

"STOP IT! BAD! DON'T REFRESH WITH TSUNDERES!"

"MISTER HUMAN! STOP MAKING ALICE AND REIMU ANGRY!" Huh. So Marisa didn't really care that her children were rapists, only that this was angering the other two adults.

"I DON'T GET IT!"

"TAKE IT EASY! IT HURTS!"

"So tsundere."

By the time the Alices and Marisas were refreshed, all of the yearling Reimus and Chen were covered in multiple stalks. I removed the rapists, then cut away all but one of the stalks on each Chen and Reimu except for the one born of Reimu and Chen's union, from which I removed all of the stalks because that one was still too young to bear koyukkuris. They called out for their mommy and daddy, but I didn't allow the adults to reenter the tank because any one of them would have likely knocked off the stalks, and also separated the two tanks so that the yearlings couldn't see the adults. The adult yukkuris all hated me and refused to eat the food I gave them, but the children ate up and within two weeks, the tank was once again teeming with babies—15 Alices, 14 Marisas, 12 Chen, and 6 Reimus. Unfortunate that the rapists had given me a majority of their own kind this time, but this was still acceptable. Afraid that the adults would attack the koyukkuris, conceived in "sin", I left them on their own.

Within the same time span, I found a curious example that again strengthened the idea that there was more nurture than nature to yukkuris' behavior. While the late Chen's Alice- and Marisa-type babies had been shunned and sent away to live with their fathers and as such were growing into rapists themselves, the other Chen's Alice- and Marisa-type babies were transferred over to the new tank with their mother and received just as much attention as her Chen-type babies, and as such, they were docile. While I'd found that any Marisa-types born of Raperisas seemed to lack their fathers' Peni Peni-manipulating abilities, the strange thing was that even the Alices refused to "refresh", and I was only able to confirm that they even _had_ the usual abilities by throwing one of them into the basement and watching it try to defend itself from Remi-chan and Flan-chan. This brought up the question of why the babies that Alice and Marisa had raised in the wild were still rapists even though Alice seemed to have denounced the practice. I got my answer when I found a dead stalk on the bottom of the case in which I'd placed the three adult yukkuri. Alice _hadn't_ actually given up the practice, per se; she was still a slave to her instincts. I thought back to every time she admonished her children, and realized that she had merely denounced _rape_, not refreshing in general; Marisa likely served as a willing partner under the condition that no babies resulted. Given more time with their mother, the young ones would have likely become monogamous as well.

One month after the latest batch of koyukkuris was born, I moved the three adults back into their tank. They had given up their hunger strike shortly after the koyukkuris were born and were once again healthy, energetic yukkuris (and still frequently bickering with one another—the latest issue being that Alice had suggested that Reimu wouldn't be so grumpy if she had someone to refresh with once in awhile and Reimu countering that she _had_ someone before Alice and Marisa moved in—although without the presence of the young Chen to remind her each day, she had forgotten exactly who that someone was). They had also forgotten that all of the koyukkuris were the product of rape, and their parental instincts immediately kicked in.

The yearlings had forgotten who Reimu, Marisa, and Alice were, too. They couldn't recognize that this Marisa and Alice were not members of the rape troupe that I'd set upon them, and even though they were dutiful mothers to _all_ of their babies, even the Alices and Marisas, they attacked all three adults, even the Reimu that had been foster father to the Chen and actual mother to the Reimus. "Stop it! It hurts! Take it easy!"

"Country bumpkins! It hurts!"

"Marisa doesn't like this, ze!"

The koyukkuris didn't understand that their mothers (and aunt, as the youngest Reimu had no children of her own) were angry and wanted to "play" as well. This, of course, meant that in addition to being whipped by the yearlings' tails/hair flaps, the three adult yukkuris were covered in little tiny bite marks from the ko-Chen (the other three varieties had no real attacks at this point in their lives.) Adorable, but of course, I also had to be careful because I didn't want any of the Chen to get hurt.

Alice instinctively started extending Peni Peni tentacles to defend herself, squirting filling as well. To a koyukkuri so little, that much filling would be a major percentage of their body mass…and some of it went right into one of the ko-Chen. Seeing that my attempt at reintroducing the adults had failed, I removed them and put Alice and Marisa back in the other tank. Reimu, however, I held onto. I gathered the yearlings together and showed them the Reimu they'd battered, and I reminded them that this Reimu had been their mommy. They denied this, because their mommy was beautiful and this Reimu was ugly. I told them that it was because they had abused her that she looked like that, and they were saddened, but they did not go mad, which was good. It was also more than I could say for the little Chen that ingested Alice's custard, as it reacted with her tiny paste core and turned her into a hybrid. I decided it was best to kill this one now.

* * *

><p>Caring for so many yukkuri was becoming an expensive proposition, and most of them were very young and wouldn't be sufficient meals for my Scarlets (although they had mostly been hunting wild ones again, anyway.) The Chen breeding project was still moving too slowly, and it would be awhile before I could get results. Furthermore, attempts to remove <em>any<em> of the koyukkuris (since the more expendable breeds, especially the Reimus, would be the best options for selling some off to make a bit more money) resulted in _all_ of the yukkuris becoming distraught, and a maddened yukkuri would not produce healthy children, so I was stuck with some 40 useless yukkuri (including the five yearling Reimus).

Winter soon came again, and with it, a new issue. The Rans that had been born the previous year were asking for "Cheeeeeeeeen!", and the Chen for "Ran-sama", but being siblings, they refused each other. I rounded up the Rans and told them that they were going to meet Chen, and I took them to the tank with all of the koyukkuri and the thirteen yearlings, eight of which were Chen. The Rans instantly took to the Chen, but the Chen cared only for their babies and ignored the Rans, at least at first. Of course, fate stepped in.

"Wan-shama!"

"I ged id! I wuv you, Wan-shama!"

"Wan-shama ij _amajin_!"

The koyukkuris took to the Rans, the Chen being the first to do so and the others following suit (yes, even the Reimus; while each koyukkuri seemed to recognize which one was actually "Mama", they all considered every other koyukkuri in the tank to be their sister and every yearling other than their mother to be "Daddy"), and as the children warmed up to the Rans, the parents grudgingly accepted them. Unfortunately, "acceptance" was not the same as "willingness to mate with". The Rans were just happy to be with Chen, and they were accepting enough to tolerate the non-Chen koyukkuris also looking up to them, but…this wasn't resulting in any new Chen.

Worse yet, I had blundered with the other end of the problem. I reintroduced the adult Ran to the adult Chen and her yearlings, and though the younger yearlings still recognized her as "daddy" and refused to mate with her, the older ones, fathered by Alices or Marisas, all went after her happily. She was all too willing to oblige…which led to an all-out sibling war, the Chen fighting each other over the lone Ran. Ran, of course, eventually got tired of trying to hump the squabbling Chen (a few of which _had_ at one point started to sprout stalks, but these had quickly been felled by the fighting) and went after the non-squabbling ones—her own children. "I don't get it! Stop it, daddy!"

"CHEEEEEEEN!"

The other Chen tried to pull their father away from their sister (or daughter, in the case of the adult), and the Marisas and Alices attacked her as well, which in their case meant Yukkuri Spark and Peni Peni Gun. The would-be Chen rapist was covered in stalks, not that they would get any chance to mature because by this point the Chen, far stronger than they'd been when I'd used the Ran as entertainment, had bitten her apart completely. A valuable resource lost. Now I had to find something else to mate with the Chen. Would I need to get new Rans for all of them? How did I end up with that Chen/Reimu pairing?

…Oh, right. Bonded by a common trauma. Reimu met Chen when the latter was straining under the weight of multiple stalks from an encounter with the rape troupe, and she herself had twice been raped by my favorite Marisa. It's not exactly an easy method…

…or is it? I went to the basement and informed Remi-chan, Flan-chan, and little Flan-chan that they would only be allowed to go out hunting every other day once spring came instead of every day. I had seen _last_ spring that the first group of Alices and Marisas had grown as loyal to me as Remi and Flan were, so I probably _could_ send them out on their own without fear of losing them forever—though I'd want to look out for them anyway, in case it started to rain. They could rape wild yukkuris, and then I'd collect their victims. It would be perfect.

* * *

><p>Spring came, and even my most recent batch of koyukkuris were quite nearly yearlings. I managed to convince the large family that they needed to separate into two tanks, because they could barely all fit in the one, and then I managed to get the five fully-grown Reimus into another tank, with their children following suit. I also collected the other ko-Alices and ko-Marisas as well, and although they cried when I took them away from their mommies, they calmed down when they realized that they'd still be with some of their daddies and sisters. The Reimus and Marisas were then put up for sale, cheap of course because they're not very valuable, but still worth something. The Alices were fed to the three Scarlet yukkuris, because these ones had also grown up with the laidback demeanor that both Reimus and Chen have and would not rape other yukkuri, and nobody would buy a non-rapist Alice—you pretty much have to have a non-Alice yukkuri on hand when you're selling them, just so that you can demonstrate the Alice's level of raping skill to the customer. The tank that had originally belonged to Reimu and her children now held only Chen- and Ran-types.<p>

The first rape trip was somewhat…disappointing. The rape troupe managed to head directly towards the Scarlet Devil Mansion itself (which I could only hope that my younger Remilia-type _had_ managed to find). I was afraid that it would spell the end for my little brigade, but they ran into a group of Meiling-types outside and refreshed with them, then gained access to the mansion (the real Meiling was sleeping on the job as usual) and headed to the library, easily overpowering Mukyus and inadvertently downing Koakkuris as well (by which I mean that they didn't actually notice the Koakkuris, but managed to hit them in flight while gunning for the Mukyus, and the Koakkuris dropped to the ground under the weight of the stalks. I managed to save these, though, unlike the poor Mukyus who couldn't survive the rapings). I quickly rounded them up (dead Mukyus, too) before the real Patchouli caught us. The three Koakkuris each bore three children (all Alices, unsurprising given the method by which my Alices had impregnated them), while the six Meilings, being larger and more durable, managed to sustain multiple stalks and had anywhere from seven to eleven koyukkuris—all totaled, they produced 24 Meilings, 18 Alices, and 13 Marisas. The Alices I immediately put up for sale, because letting them be raised by their mothers would dull that rapist instinct and letting them be raised by the rape troupe would result in me eventually having to betray their trust when it came time to sell them off, and I didn't want to have to do that because they trusted me completely. The Marisas and Meilings I allowed to be raised by their mothers, although I didn't give them as much food as they really should have received so that they would know hardship. As for the Koakkuris, I waited only one week after they'd given birth to their babies before bringing in some of the younger members of the rape troupe (Reimu and Chen's children) to give it another go. Koakkuris are very rare, much like the Daiyousei-type that I'd given to the vampires, but their "invisibility" was entirely the result of being small and fast, rather than a supernatural ability, and so the rape troupe would notice them and rape them. The Koakkuris screamed, but I managed to keep them alive through the raping. One of them died afterwards even though I had trimmed it down to just one stalk, so I resolved that in the future, only the "normal Marisa" members of the rape troupe would be brought in, as stalk pregnancies of any kind were apparently a risk to the diminutive yukkuris and it would be better to use the Mamu Mamus.

* * *

><p>Summer came, and I made an important new discovery: Despite growing to a much smaller size, Koakkuris don't actually grow much slower than other yukkuris. By the time they were a few months old, the Kokoakkuris were as large as their mothers and were actively asking where Mukyu was. I decided to introduce them to the tank where the remaining of my two original Chen and her non-Ran children lived. The other Chen found them to be interesting and played with them, but didn't show any interest in mating with them. Not that this mattered, because the Alices and Marisas were interested, and the Koakkuris deemed the Alices to be similar enough to Mukyus that they returned the interest. Furthermore, they seemed to understand the Koakkuris' limitations, as it was the Alices who began to sprout stalks. Remembering that these Alices <em>were<em> indeed rapist-types by birth, even though they didn't partake in any raping, I idly wondered if the babies would have Peni Peni-manipulation abilities. I tried to picture what a rapist Koakkuri would look like and ended up laughing hysterically, causing many of the yukkuris to ask me why I was laughing. This system was working, and the two original Koakkuris were screaming less and less every time the Marisas raped them, though they still didn't seem to like it. The Chen that had been born the previous spring from the union of Reimu's former mate's children and the rape troupe (some of whom had in fact _fathered_ said children) were now far enough into their second year that they were able to produce children, and of course they had already professed how much they _loved_ Ran-sama, and I found that given the right circumstances, even non-rapist yukkuri will be polygamists. There were twelve yearling Chen and only eight Rans, yet between the two there were twelve stalks, not eight, with six of each type bearing a single stalk. Unlike the yearlings, who had considered every grown yukkuri other than their mother to be a father, the koyukkuris that resulted from this pairing identified both their father and their mother, and I found that indeed, four Rans served as both mother and father, with two serving only as father and two only as mother. The older Chen, parents of the new mothers and fathers, accepted these unions. I started to consider separating the ko-Rans from the ko-Chen so they would interbreed later in life, but decided not to. There were, after all, other Chen over in the other room, albeit ones that occasionally had to be disciplined for playing too rough with the ko-Koakkuris. Their method of "playing" with Koakkuris was to bat them around, much as a cat plays with a ball of yarn; my method of disciplining them was to hold them in one hand and pull on their tails with the other, or after that resulted in me getting bitten, to place them down on a table and put a heavy object on top of their tails. They screamed and tried to run off, and a few times they managed to tear their tails off and open holes in their dough, but I always patched them up after this, so they never suffered any permanent damage. I was breeding a rare and valuable type of yukkuri at a fairly good pace, and a less rare but still moderately valuable type at a less prolific but still decent pace. In fact, the only "problem" I now had was that at the rate I was breeding Koakkuris, or for that matter that anyone else would be able to breed them once they realized what I'd discovered, the market value would plummet. I _could_ just drain the Koakkuris and sell _that_, but it seemed like a waste, and people would probably question whether it was really Koakkuri filling, or else they would realize that I had a _lot_ of Koakkuris. For now, I decided to just sit on this gold mine, since their small size made them inexpensive to feed, and when I do decide to start selling, I'll set it up mail-order so that I can sell a lot of them at the top prices before anyone realizes just how large my stock is.

Yes, finally, everything was good. I was already making a decent living selling young Alices and Marisas, and the rape troupe was bringing in other yukkuris whose children would later mate with the Chen and Koakkuris, including what turned out to be a brand new rapist Ran. The rape troupe thought that I was a _wonderful_ mister human, and my sweet Remi-chan and Flan-chan had produced another baby Remilia, while their second child, the Flandre, did not move out after growing up as her older sister had, but instead brought back a mate—oddly enough, a Sakuya-type. Still, I couldn't help but think I had forgotten something…

Huh? What was that? Oh, right, now I remember what I forgot. Reimu, Marisa, and Alice. But why would there be movement coming from their container? They should be dead by now with how long I've neglected to feed them. Of course, there's the possibility that one of them is still alive, gone mad from being forced to eat the other two to survive… But I would have expected them to whine more about their hunger.

Come to think of it, the Chen and Rans have been kind of on edge lately. Their tank is in the same room as that trio's.

…Nope, they're all dead. Reimu and Marisa are both completely gone save for their hair and accessories, and Alice…something's moving inside Alice. Did Alice and Marisa have more babies, and Alice gave her life to allow her baby to eat? Yeah, it looks like it. "Come here, little one. I'm not going to hurt you…"

"…Hourai…"

Oh shi—

* * *

><p>CCX: Well, that was nice and long. Also I think I might have put myself on the establishing side of fanon with this one. :-) Hopefully this is good. And yes, the narrator is still alive, merely unconscious.<p> 


	3. Postscript and short stories

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Yeah, whatever. Also, the idea to change the name was stupid and I'm changing it back.

I awoke with a slightly bitter taste in my mouth. "Uuu, mister human is finally awake!"

"…Flan-chan? What are you doing out here?"

"Remilia and Flandre were hungry! But Mister Human needed food more!" She presented a half-dead Eirin to me. Had they been trying to help me? I briefly wondered where the Hourai had gone, but I saw its wings on the ground and surmised that one of these two had eaten it.

"…Thank you."

"Haaau…"

* * *

><p>While business was stable, life was not without difficulties. The new Yusakuya had a tendency to bully my Meilings, although she paid for her own stupidity when she decided that <em>she<em> deserved a piece of candy that I had given to a Meiling and forced the yukkuri to spit it out, taking it for herself. The candy in question was an Atomic Fireball, and Yusakuya screamed, "HWWWOOOOOOOOOCH!" and puffed up, turning red. She spit it out, but was feeling ill for three days afterwards and was drinking water like crazy. Last time she ever bullied them. Then there was the time that _the_ Patchouli showed up, having heard that I was a great source for rare yukkuri and having found that a few of her Koakkuri had gone missing. I wondered how it had taken _a year_ for her to notice that they were gone, but nevertheless, it was difficult to hide the fact that I now had four generations of Koakkuri. Somehow, however, I managed. But worst of all was when a Yukari-type showed up unannounced and spirited away most of my Rans, including the rapists. I had a lot of very sad Chen after that incident.

But none of that prepared me for the day when I entered the rape troupe's room to find a number of stalks growing. "What's this all about?" I asked.

"Alice wants babies!"

"Marisa wants babies too!"

"B-but aren't you all sisters?" They didn't respond. I desperately wanted to cut the stalks off…but I couldn't betray their trust. So I let it pass.

As the koyukkuris grew on the stalks, I discovered that at least _some_ of them had, rather than resorting to pairing up with each other, merely took it upon themselves to turn things around come rape time and get themselves pregnant instead. There were a number of Marisas and Alices, yes, but also Cirnos, Suwakos, Reisens… I observed the children to see how they'd grow up. The parents' sexual appetites were not dulled by motherhood, as they still demanded chances to refresh frequently, and within a few months, they were ready to teach their children how to refresh. I also finally had my answer to the question of how and how often rapist-types were born. While all of the children became rapists by way of nurture, only the Alice-types and the Marisa-types with Alice mothers had the Peni Peni-manipulation ability; other types born to Alice mothers didn't. Interesting…were Marisa-types more closely related to Alice-types than most?

* * *

><p>CCX: This was more of a post-script than anything else; I'm getting bored of stories involving humans and yukkuri. Perhaps I should get back to writing about wild yukkuri.<p>

…Or at least, I tire of writing continuous narratives about a lone Anon. Henceforth, short stories involving Yukkuri and _truly_ kind Anons, or at least ones that aren't actively trying to cause their Yukkuris needless pain.

* * *

><p>The Issue of Bawiza<p>

As a boy, I did not technically _own_ any yukkuris, but there was a family of wild ones living in our backyard, taking shelter in a hollow tree trunk in the winter, and I often fed these yukkuris and petted them, and they were like pets to me. However, upon getting to college, I made so many new friends that I barely even visited my parents over winter break my freshman year, much less my yukkuri friends. When I went back home for the summer, I suffered quite a shock when I went to visit my friends the yukkuris.

"Marisa! What's happened to you? You're…_FAT!_" The yukkuri was more than 2½ times her normal size…no, wait, translated into three dimensions, try more like _six_ times as large.

The Marisa type drooled. "Dwop dead easy; Bawiza is hongwy!"

"Where are all of your babies? And Reimu?"

A whimpering. "Sh-she ate all of the babies. She ate all of Reimu's babies!" The bean paste bun shuddered, afraid of her former mate.

"Hmm…And here I thought I was merely being generous all of these years, sparing you from having to subsist on what you could find in the wild. I never realized that I was only feeding _you_ all these years and sparing the rest of your family from having their food stolen. So, you like to eat, huh? Well, it just so happens I'm having a summer party. You'd be perfect." I jumped on top of the oversized yukkuri, which was more than sufficient to support my weight, and I pushed down until there was a trench in the dough. I then got the hose and started filling up the trench. Voila! Kiddie-type swimming pool. Not as good as a hot tub, but then again that would actually be malicious cruelty instead of constructive cruelty.

For people brought snacks with them to the living pool, and Bawiza ate them, and swelled up, and then the swimming part was over and Bawiza's true nature was revealed, and although some people wanted to flat out torture her, they found that simple stretching and kicking wasn't doing the job as she was so huge and rubbery. Most of them, however, found her cute, and when she said, "Bawiza wants food, mister (or miss)", they gave her food. And Bawiza just grew and grew, until she felt she might just burst, and finally stopped eating, even when she was still hungry. But she stopped herself before getting truly sick, so I was worried that the message might not go through.

By luck of the weather, it did go through. Bawiza was too large to fit into her old home, so when the rain came, she was stuck outside. And she got rather wet, and melted away a long, slow, painful death. This is the danger of overeating. Reimu, even though Marisa had become a monster in later years, was still lonely, so I officially adopted her as a pet and brought her with me when going back to college (yukkuris are allowed in the dorms as long as they're obedient and aren't of a variety that eats other yukkuris). One day, I forgot to lock my dorm as I was leaving, and she escaped out into the hall. That evening, a _very_ cute girl was going around from room to room, asking any of them if they'd lost a yukkuri. Most of them claimed to have been, but my Reimu recognized me immediately and tried to jump into my arms—I had to catch her quite gingerly, so as not to disturb her stalk, an addition that I wanted to inquire about. It turned out that this girl owned a Sanae-type, one of those new ones that actually could produce Sanae offspring (early attempts at breeding a Sanae resulted in Suwako and Kanako babies.) The two hit it off, and maybe we should discuss this further over coffee sometime.

"Uh, did Reimu do bad by running off?" Reimu asked.

"Reimu shouldn't run off…but Reimu did very well today."

"So Reimu and Sanae can play together again?"

"Yes, Reimu and Sanae can play together again."

"Yay! Take it easy!"

"Take it easy," I replied, thinking about how my Yukkuri may have helped me land a date with a hot chick. "So easy…"

* * *

><p>CCX: Probably not done yet!<p> 


	4. More short stories

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: All _Touhou_ characters are not my property. The anon is.

The Perfect Lady

I recently acquired a Youmu-type yukkuri. She really looks up to Yuyuko (the real one, not Yuyukkuris—I have no idea how these little things instinctively know about the people they're based on), and wants to be a real lady. She's actually pretty good at being helpful, or as helpful as a yukkuri can be, but there's one problem: she's got one _hell_ of a foul mouth. Like Tourette's without the facial tics. She's also been going through a bit of a contrarian stage, although this isn't really surprising as she's probably about the yukkuri equivalent of a teenager right now.

"Diiiiiiiiiick!" she shouted.

"Now, stop that. You're not being very ladylike, Youmu."

"Shut up! What the fuck do you know, dick!"

Seeing as how my name isn't Richard, I reprimanded her. "If you don't clean up your language, I'm going to have to punish you."

"Bring it on, shithead!" I picked up her Myon, and she started to tremble. "Y-you'd better put that back, or else…y-you're going to be very sorry, you dick."

I took a bite out of it, and she screamed. "AAAAAH!"

"Are you going to stop cursing now?"

"Di—uh, yes, mister human, sir."

I put the Myon down. "Good girl. I don't like having to punish you."

While the natural inclination to curse was still there, she managed to hold her tongue for a few days, until after a particularly big meal. "Yum yum! Youmu had good munch-munch! Yuuu…now Youmu has to shit!"

"Youmu! A _lady_ does not 'shit'. A lady makes poo-poo." Well, a _human_ lady usually doesn't even talk about those things, and if she did she'd probably use a more dignified word than "poo-poo", but that's what _most_ yukkuri refer to their excrement as so it was the term I wanted her to use.

"Gotta _shit!_" she insisted. Fine, be that way, but I'm not cleaning up after you. "Clean up this mess!" she demanded when she was finished. I didn't respond. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Clean up this shit, you dickhead!"

"You're going to be a potty mouth? Well, you know what gets put in a potty, right? _Shit._"

I scooped up the excrement and force-fed it to her. She tried to clear out her mouth and screamed, "What the hell do you think you're doing, asshole! And how come _you_ can say 'shit' and you won't let Youmu?" Okay, she had a point there. It was kind of hypocritical of me to curse when I'm trying to break her of the habit of cursing. "Just wait till I meet Lady Yuyuko! I'll tell her what a shithead you are, and then she'll _eat you!"_ Still mouthing off and still cursing. This won't do. I got a rubber glove and picked her up.

"Okay, perhaps we should do this 'potty-mouth' thing differently. Meet _my_ toilet." I dunked her in it, holding her under the water for a bit before flushing. I held her while I did (hence the glove), because the two possibilities of letting her get flushed would be that she'd go down fine and I'd lose her or she'd stop up my plumbing, neither of which were desirable. I picked her back up. She called me every bad word she could think of, and when she ran out of those, she started making up new swear words. I waited it out. "Are you _finished_?" I asked. She said, "No way!" and stuck her tongue out at me.

"Okay, that's it!"

Ever since then, Youmu has been a perfect lady, one that Yuyuko would be proud of. She always follows orders in a prompt fashion, never curses, never mouths off. Actually, she's very quiet; barely speaks at all; only opens her mouth when she needs to eat. She seems to avoid other yukkuris, though. I guess she's afraid that another yukkuri might tell her to take it easy, at which point she'd be compelled to respond. See, she's a bit embarrassed by the fact that she has no tongue and can no longer speak intelligibly. But as long as she keeps her mouth shut, she looks like a normal yukkuri, and the knowledge of that fact allows her to take it easy, just like a yukkuri lady should.

* * *

><p>Ran's First Yukkuri<p>

Note: This story references Chapter 14 of _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering_.

"I've got a gift for you, Ran-chan. I think you'll like it."

"A gift for me, Yukari-sama? Thank you…" Inside a plastic cage was a Chen-type yukkuri, not a newborn but probably still less than a year old. "It's so _cute!_ It looks just like my sweet little Chen!"

"I figured you'd like it."

"Wan-chama! I geddit, I geddit!" The little Chen tried to jump up and get to Ran. She took it out of the cage and put it to her face, where it rubbed up against her.

"Oh, you're so cute and sweet…little Cheeeeen." Although it was too small to properly hug, she made an attempt to replicate the effect, petting it while it was pressed to her cheek.

"Ooh, Wan-chama! Oh…woah…Chen gan'd dage ib eabyyyyyyaaa!" Splat.

Ran and Yukari just looked at each other. "Oops," Ran said.

"If I get you another one, do you promise you'll be gentler with it?"

"Yeah. Now if you'll excuse me, my lady, I need to wash my face."

"Of course. Go right ahead."

* * *

><p>CCX: Oh, Ran. You know, it must be hard for something as powerful as an EX boss to deal with something as fragile as a yukkuri. Ran realizes this now, too—just to be on the safe side, she doesn't even <em>touch<em> her kos any more, letting their parents take care of them completely until they're older. Ja ne!


	5. Gutter Trash and Yu's On First

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Yadda yadda yadda, you know the deal by now.

Gutter Trash

"No…mister rain… I don't want to die… I just wanted to help other yukkuris to take it easy…"

That…sounded almost eloquent. Was that a first-person pronoun I heard? Nah, must have been my ears playing tricks on me in the heavy rain. I had a feeling I would regret it, but…I couldn't just leave the yukkuri out there to die. I picked it up and shielded it from the rain, carrying it home.

"Yugyu? Marisa is not dead?" Yeah, I had just been imagining it. Just a plain old gutter trash Marisa. "Happiness! Mister, will you give Marisa some sweet-sweets?"

"Well, since you asked so politely…" This Marisa would be extremely easy to train to become a pet. I had originally been intending to simply let it go once it had healed up and the rain stopped and hope it couldn't find its way back, as I had no intention of keeping a pet yukkuri, but I might be able to sell this one.

"Yugyu! Mister sweet-sweets! Mister has a very good eye for quality. Marisa used to be a gold badge yukkuri, you know."

"Don't lie."

"It's the truth! Why would I lie?"

"Because you want a home and you stupid things actually think we'll believe you when you say stuff like that. Not that I really give a shit, because I had no intention of adopting a yukkuri anyway. I just took you in because I couldn't let you die out there."

"You shouldn't say stuff like that! Marisa's ears are hurt by such language." Was this thing _mocking_ me? "And I know better than to expect you to believe me, but it's the truth."

Those first-person pronouns again, and not a "ze" to be heard. "Well, then, if you were a gold badge yukkuri, how did you end up out there all alone?"

"My old owner was really mean!" she said between bites. "He would torture Marisa, and then he abandoned her!" The constant switching between first- and third-person I could do without. Just pick one and stick with it. "Ah…sweet-sweets… Oh…need to poop." She started looking around frantically. "Mister, where is Marisa's toilet?"

"It's a big cage. I'll clean up wherever."

"You didn't make a toilet for Marisa? What are you, stupid?"

"Geez. Sorry. It's not like I've ever done this before. You're lucky I used to have a pet rabbit, or else I wouldn't even _have_ a cage for you."

Pouting, she did her business, cried "Refreshed!", and departed for the opposite side of the cage. I cleaned up the poop and got to work on making a toilet, just in case she was still hanging around for a bit.

Sure enough, it was still pouring when it came time for bed, so Marisa would be staying with me for the night. The next morning, I asked her more about her former owner. She seemed confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You said you used to be a gold badge yukkuri, and you were abandoned and abused. That's a crime, you know, abusing gold badge yukkuris. If I knew who he was, I could report this."

"Ah, um…it's not like there's any proof, right? Like you said, no one's going to believe some yukkuri who doesn't even have a badge."

"You _were _lying, weren't you?"

"I wasn't! I don't care if you believe me, but I wasn't lying." She thought about it for a moment. "Okay, maybe I care a little, but only because yukkuri who tell lies to humans often get punished."

"…Take it easy. I believe you."

"What?" Almost as an afterthought, she added, "Take it easy, da ze." Good old hard-wiring kicking in.

"You're obviously not just some piece of gutter trash. You use first-person pronouns, at least sometimes. You asked me politely for sweets, when most gutter trash would have just rudely demanded that I obey them and felt it was my duty to serve them. You haven't once told me to die, and heck, the only 'da ze' I've heard out of your mouth this entire time came when your natural instincts forced you to respond to me. You _did_ call me stupid once, but even that was a mark in your favor—gutter trash wouldn't have looked for a toilet, they would've just shat wherever they happened to be and then puffed up in anger when the poop didn't just magically disappear. So yeah, you're obviously a trained yukkuri."

Much to my surprise, she was puffed up and red-faced. "Don't call them that! You're making Marisa very angry!"

"Was this all just an act, then? Although I fail to see what I did wrong, you're showing slightly more 'wild' tendencies all of a sudden…but even so, just being able to _imitate _a gold badge yukkuri that well is deserving of a decent badge."

"Are you dense?"

I thought about what she said again. "Oh. Don't call who what?"

"The stray yukkuri! You called them 'gutter trash'! Marisa doesn't like that…Marisa grew up on the streets, you know. And then when my owner abused me and my friends, I tried to start a rebellion, but the rest of them had all known nothing but life as a pet and thought that going out on the streets would be even scarier than living with that abusive mister. So I left them to go teach other strays how to be good yukkuri who can get nice owners."

"You _left_? So then you weren't abandoned?"

"N-no. But…a gold badge yukkuri doesn't 'run away'. A _gold_ badge yukkuri just does what she is told. …I'm a fraud of a gold badge yukkuri."

"Not at all. You know, I didn't intend to keep you when I brought you in…but you've got more brains in that little bean-paste head of yours than a lot of humans I know."

"So Marisa _isn't_ just a foolish wide-eyed idealist?"

"…Well, yes you are, but most yukkuris are just plain foolish, so that's a big improvement."

"…You're so mean."

* * *

><p>That evening, the local news had a report that a gold badge Marisa had gone missing, and the owner was pictured on the television. "Is that him? Your former owner?"<p>

"Mm-hm."

"We should do something."

"What can we do? I'm just a stupid little yukkuri; no one will listen to my word over his!"

"…Good point. Well, then, it's a good thing that you're not a gold badge yukkuri now, right?"

"…you really need to see about getting me registered for a badge."

"I'll make an appointment. Make sure you don't do that 'stupid' act of yours during testing."

"What are you talking about?"

"The one where you act like an average yukkuri."

"Marisa is who she is. Besides, wouldn't that make Marisa a gold badge yukkuri again?"

"…Tell me, how successful were you in your endeavors at educating the gutt—I mean, the stray yukkuris?"

"Umm…mostly fruitless, but there were some who managed to become pet yukkuris."

"Before we go for testing, let's see if we can find some of your pupils. It's only a rumor, but…I hear that gold might _not_ be the highest level of yukkuri badge. If you cut the cutesy stuff and show the examiners your full intelligence, and the results of your education program come to light, there's a chance that you might just be able to attain your goals."

"…Marisa isn't _that_ much of a naïve dreamer."

"But I am."

* * *

><p>CCX: Okay, this one's getting less plausible and more derailed as we go along, so let's just end it here and go on to "Chapter 14.5 of <em>The Adventures of Team 9 Catering<em>".

* * *

><p>Yu's On First<p>

The gap opening at the Yukkuri Registration Office could only mean one thing: Ran Yakumo had obtained some new yukkuris. "Hello, I'd like to obtain five new bronze badges. Yes, I said five. No, my yukkuri didn't have kos again. No, one of Chen's friends found a yukkuri, and it turned out it had a pregnant mate who chased after them. What? No, not Chen as in one of my yukkuri; Chen as in _Cheeeeeeeen, _my shikigami-slash-girlfriend. Uh-huh. Yes, the mate chased after them while carrying babies. Very carefully, I would imagine. No, no, it wasn't bouncing along; it has wings. Cirno. No, that _is_ the owner, Cirno the ice fairy. Three Cirnos and two Daiyouseis. Yes, that's right, _the_ Cirno is going to be keeping Cirno-type yukkuris. It's no weirder than me owning all of these Chen-types, and lest you forget I have a few Ran-types as well just to keep the Chen happy when I'm not around. …I wouldn't worry about it. Just…we'll talk about that another time, okay? Yes, yes she is. Don't worry, if things start getting out of hand I'll intervene. Uh-huh. Okay, thanks. You too. Tell your wife I said hi. See you." Yukari closed the gap for them.

"Exactly why did you have to have that conversation from the other side of a gap?" Cirno asked.

"There was an incident the last time Chen and I visited the YRO in person. You see, being that they also run the tests for higher levels of badges at the YRO, there are naturally a lot of yukkuri there at any given time, and we're…well…kind of a disturbance."

"Sorry for being so cute!" Chen added, doing her best to imitate a yukkuri and succeeding in causing Ran to start squeeing.

"The yukkuri are no better at resisting Chen's cuteness than I am," Ran said proudly.

"They were also just as bad as me at resisting the softness of your _oh-so-fluffy tails!_" Chen replied, wrapping herself in them.

Ran laughed. "Yeah…that's why we have to talk to them from the other side of a gap now."

"…Okay, sure."

"Eye'm the strongest!" the father Yukkyuri said for no particular reason.

* * *

><p>CCX: Isn't it hard hearing only one side of a phone conversation? Feel free to try to figure out the other guy's side of the conversation. Anyway, it's amazing how Ran and Chen suddenly found their place in <em>The Adventures of Team 9 Catering<em> once I introduced yukkuris to the mix. Of course, I think I'm done with yukkuri-related filler, so we'll see what happens next…is there going to be another chapter of business-type stuff, or will Chapter 15 start the Hakurei-Kotiya wedding? Tune in to find out!

And no, I have no idea if any of the stories that _don't_ feature any non-yukkuri Touhou characters are actually in the same continuity as everything else or not.

Bonus note: I've long-since stopped adding things like names and otaku terms to my MS Word dictionary ever since the sheer volume of _Dream_ overloaded the damn thing, but I had to add "squeeing" because the damn program tried to AutoCorrect it to "squeezing".


	6. Spoiled Rotten

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Perhaps a bit more of it is needed than usual. I got the idea for this from Murayu Aki's "Yugakyu Empire".

CCX: In addition to being inspired in part by another yukkuri story, the following is also a continuation of Chapter 3's "The Case of Bawiza".

Spoiled Rotten

"Okay, Sanae-chan, I'm going out for a bit with Reimu's owner. I'm leaving you in his room so you can be with Reimu and your new babies." The female anon turned to her new friend (potential boyfriend?) "Uh, the babies _have_ been born, right?"

The male shook his head. "Any day now, but not yet, no."

"That's…unfortunate. I hope it doesn't happen while we're out."

"Would that be any worse than if it happened while we were in classes? At least if it happens now the babies would have both parents right there."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." They left.

"Yuu…Sanae is happy to see Reimu! Are Sanae's cute babies ready to be born yet?"

"Babies are taking it easy. Babies will be born easy soon."

Sanae looked up at the stalk. Four Reimus. "Uu? None of the babies look like Sanae…isn't Reimu worried that mister will punish her?"

"…Why would mister punish Reimu? Reimu did nothing wrong!"

"Bu, but when other yukkuri had Sanae's babies and didn't make enough that looked like Sanae, they got punished. And when Sanae didn't make enough babies that looked like Sanae, daddies got punished…"

"That's horrible! By who?"

"By mister who raised Sanae."

Reimu suddenly started shaking and felt uneasy. "Was Sanae…born in the Factory?"

"Sanae remembers a factory, yes…why isn't Reimu easy?"

"Factory is a bad place! Not a place for taking it easy!"

"Sanae was always allowed to take it easy. Sometimes Sanae saw uneasy yukkuris, and felt a little scared, but the nice misters always made her feel better." Reimu was very confused; she only knew of the Factory as a place where yukkuri were tortured and killed. Being the most common of common types and therefore expendable in the Factory's eyes, she didn't realize that rare types like Sanaes are considered valuable there and are treated relatively well so that they breed.

Another voice interrupted this thought. "Bein bawn eajy!"

"Ah! Baby is being born!"

One of the Koreimus dropped down onto the soft bedding that the male anon had provided. "Dage id eajy!"

"Take it easy!" both of its parents replied, while wondering why the others hadn't been born yet as well. They couldn't give this baby its first meal of ground-up stalk if the other babies were still on it.

They didn't have to wait long, though to their bean paste brains it seemed like an eternity. Ten minutes later, the second one dropped down, followed almost immediately after by the remaining two. The babies exchanged greetings with their parents and rub-rubbed, and then it was time for food. Sanae started to chew it up.

"Huh? There's less of it than Reimu thought…Sanae! You better not be hogging the stalk for yourself! That's _babies_' munch-munch!"

"Of course not! But…Sanae is so hungry…why isn't there more food for Reimu and Sanae?"

"Huh? But Reimu just ate," she looked up at her owner's clock, "not very long ago, so mister won't be bringing more food until…" she gave it another glance, "later. Did Sanae not eat before her pretty miss human left her with Reimu?"

"Sanae ate! But…that was a long time ago, and Sanae needs more food now. Miss human always leaves lots of food for Sanae before going sleep-sleep or going out, in case Sanae isn't sleeping and needs food."

"Sanae eats a lot?"

"Daddy ij hungwy? Gyude Weimyu wiww shawe hew fwood wid Daddy!"

"Thank you, little one," Sanae said, starting to oblige, but Reimu stopped her and told the ko, "No, little one, you need to eat _all_ of your food, or you won't grow up big and strong like Mommy and Daddy."

"Yu! Weimyu ij eadin eajy! Munsh munsh…hwabbinesh!"

Another ko had already passed the "happiness" stage. "MWOMMY! WEIMYU'J BEWWY HURDSH!"

"It's okay, little one; just come over here. You have to make a poo-poo now, but always make your poo-poo in the toilet, okay?"

"Weimyu gan'd!"

"Mommy will help. Lick-lick will make it feel good and come out easy."

The child stopped crying and did as it was told, and before long, it had made its first poop. "Wefweshed!"

The others soon followed suit, although they didn't need to be told to go over to the toilet because they had already seen their big sister do so before getting refreshed.

"Ah…Reimu's cute babies are playing so happily and easy," Reimu said. Sanae didn't respond. "Sanae, is something wrong?"

"No, watching babies makes Sanae happy, but…Sanae still wants sweet-sweets."

"Sanae…be patient. Mister and Miss will be back soon, right?"

Interestingly enough, the topic of their yukkuri had just come up in their conversation. "You did leave extra food in your yukkurarium, right?" the female asked.

"Oh? I fed Reimu shortly before coming over to your room. Didn't you think to feed Sanae before going out?"

"Well, of course I did, but when I'm going to be out for this long, I always leave extra for her so that she can eat again."

"'This long'? We've only been out for an hour and a half!"

"I know; poor dear must be starving by now."

Her date just stared at her. "You spoil that yukkuri, don't you?"

"No! …Well, maybe a little, but she's very well-mannered, and she hasn't gotten fat like some Deibu…er, no offense; your Reimu is very well-behaved and not Deibu-like at all, and I know that there are plenty of others like yours, it's just…"

"Yeah, I know what it's like. Reimu had been living in my backyard long before I officially adopted her, along with her mate, a Marisa. The damn thing turned into a Bawiza when I first left for college; ended up eating its own babies."

"That's horrible! …And a little surprising."

"That Marisa would eat her own babies?"

"No, that a Reimu as well-behaved as yours was originally a wild yukkuri. My sweet little Sanae was raised in captivity from a ko."

"Hopefully by a good reputable owner."

"Owner? No, I was her first owner. Sanae-types are very rare; my parents had to special-order one for me, factory direct."

"_Sounds like _she's_ a little spoiled, too…but damn, she's hot,"_ the boy thought. "Did you say _Factory_ direct?"

"Yeah, why?"

"The Yukkuri Factory is far from reputable. In fact, their _reputation_ is for outright killing most of the more common breeds while forcing the rarer ones to breed repeatedly. I guess your Sanae falls into the latter category."

"…Wouldn't a yukkuri that had been forced to breed repeatedly be, I don't know, _hornier?_ Granted, she rub-rubbed with your Reimu very quickly, but she's never complained about her lack of companionship before…" Her date didn't respond, and the girl kicked him in the shin—obviously not trying to hurt him; that would be near impossible to do in flip-flops—just to get his attention. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Wha? Oh, yeah."

"You're not paying any attention to me, are you?"

"What do you mean? I'm paying plenty of attention to you!"

"Yes, but not to what I'm saying. Mostly you're just staring at me, which is kind of flattering because at least you're looking at my face, but you're also frequently trying to shoot glances under the table, which would be downright perverted if I was wearing a skirt but is just kind of weird like this."

"Sorry. Obviously not thinking straight."

"Eh, I guess it's not entirely your fault. So if I may borrow a line from the yukkuri for a moment…" she intentionally made her voice higher, like a yukkuri's, "Sorry for being so cute!"

The boy laughed and leaned across the table to kiss her; she saw his intentions and leaned forward as well. "Indeed. You're cuter than any yukkuri."

She blushed, then suddenly remembered her concern about her yukkuri. "Let's wrap this up. I want to check on the yukkuris."

When they walked into the boy's dorm room, the yukkuris didn't even notice. "If you're so hungry, why don't you eat the babies' shit, you shitty parent!" Reimu yelled, shoving Sanae's face into the toilet where the poo-poo was.

"WHOA WHOA WHOA! What's going on here?" Sanae's owner demanded. "Why is my Sanae being abused like this?" She pulled Reimu off of Sanae and picked the latter up out of the cage.

"Hey, Reimu's stalk's gone! The babies must have been born! But…oh, I see. It's okay, little yukkuris; I won't hurt you. Didn't mommy tell you about the nice mister who gives her food?" He quickly counted the trembling koyukkuris. "One, two…there were four on the stalk, but there's only two now. Where are your sisters, little ones?"

"Widdwe shishdas awe in Daddy'j bewwy," the oldest one said.

"Daddy waj hungwy, so she ade widdwe shishda Weimyu. Den she ade big shishda Weimyu, sho Mwommy shdawded hiddin Daddy," the other, who was apparently the third-born as she had referred to one of the missing ones as "big sister" and the other as "little sister" while the other referred to both as "little sisters", told him.

"Daddy ij a shiddy bawend hoo shouwd dwob dead eajy!" said the first.

"Is this true?" the female anon asked her yukkuri, while her new boyfriend tried to calm down his yukkuri. "Did you eat your babies?"

"Not Sanae's cute babies!" she replied. "Only worthless babies who look like Reimu. It's Reimu's fault for not having any cute babies who look like Sanae."

"WHY WOUWD JOU SHAY DAAAAAAAAD?" both koyukkuris cried.

"Shitty babies should be honored to feed Sanae!"

"No! Bad Sanae! Looks like I'm going to have to send you to The Box."

"'The Box'? Sounds scary," the male anon said. (I really should name these two. I was considering having the female's reason for specifically wanting a Sanae-type when she was younger to be that her name was Sanae too, but decided against it.)

Indeed, Sanae was trembling. "N-no…Sanae will be good! Sanae is a good girl! Sanae doesn't want to go in mister uneasy box!"

The female answered, "Oh, it's not some nasty torture device. I don't believe in positive punishments"—the male, having never taken a psychology course, thought that this term seemed oxymoronic (in psychological terms, in both rewarding and punishing, "positive" refers to a situation in which something is added and "negative" to be where something is subtracted)—"and while technically I suppose taking away its ribbon or something would be considered a "negative punishment" as well, I prefer the box. It is exactly what it sounds like: a simple clear plastic box. It even has a place for Sanae to make her poo-poo and pee-pee so that they don't stink up the box with her. Although she doesn't always use it for poo-poo, because usually by the time I let her out, she's resorted to recycling it at least once. You see, the toilet is the _only_ thing in there. No food, no bed, no toys…nothing. That is Sanae's punishment. To be all alone with nothing to do and no way to take it easy." She took the yukkuri back to her dorm and locked it up in the box.

"Wow. That's either the most humane discipline method I've ever seen, or one of the cruelest. On the one hand, it's probably better than the outright physical torture than many yukkuri owners consider to be acceptable 'discipline', but on the other hand, it's got to be mentally agonizing."

"It's solitary confinement. They do that to human prisoners, don't they?"

"Ah, yes, but the human mind isn't nearly as delicate as these bean paste brains."

"Whatever. I don't think my presence would be great for Sanae right now anyway, and not only are there still two cute new koyukkuris to play with back in your room, but I kind of cut our date a little short…and I've got something _else_ you can play with…"

"In front of the yukkuris?"

"You're not _shy_ about _them_, are you? Well, if you are, it doesn't matter; we can just put a cloth over the side of the yukkurarium that faces the bed. Anyway, it's not like I was planning anything that would require us to take our clothes off, anyway."

"Such a tease."

"Did you misinterpret what I was asking for? Because I just wanted a little 'rub-rub'," she replied, lifting up her shirt slightly so as to make it perfectly clear what she wanted rubbed.

The male couldn't help but grin and play along. "Happiness~~~!"

* * *

><p>CCX: What? Human-on-human action in a yukkuri story? Lol, well, obviously the male anon is still an author stand-in (remember that the first time he appeared, he was the narrator), so the female anon has a lot of traits that I find attractive. Some of them are completely irrelevant, but others can probably be inferred from the male anon's behavior. Anyway, time for me to give a bit more detail to another of my creations…<p>

* * *

><p>How To Torture a Yoshika-Type<p>

I just got a new yukkuri to torture. It's called a Yoshika, and it isn't responding to the usual methods. I've tried prodding it with sharp objects; it feels some pain, but doesn't scream very loudly or remember the pain after the initial impact. It's eaten everything I've given it, no matter how nasty, without complaining or vomiting. Burning seems to annoy it, but it still recovers, and I don't want to burn it until it's completely dead because there's no fun in that. Same goes for water torture. They do start to melt, but unless they're finished off completely, they eventually return to normal. Not quite as quick to regenerate as, say, a Remilia, but…it's probably a lot easier to permanently injure a Remilia. I've seen Remilias with their wings plucked off, and they didn't grow back. Yoshika doesn't have wings, but if she did, I'm sure hers would slowly grow back if I plucked them off. Damn thing is so stinky, too…why am I keeping this? It keeps whining about how hungry it is. Maybe starving it will be a good torture method, although it won't be easy since it's already proven it will eat anything regardless of how edible it actually _should_ be. I wanted a round container for it…I put two fishbowls together and duct-taped their openings to one another. I then bolstered the contraption so that Yoshika couldn't tip it over. And I watched and waited.

…Wait, is she really about to… Whoa. Jackpot. This is definitely interesting.

She's trying to eat herself. She's so hungry that she's actually stretching out and sticking her bottom into her mouth, and she's biting it off. I don't believe it. This yukkuri is actually trying to self-cannibalize. Of course, now all of the rotten meat is running out, and she's eating that…and it's just pouring right back out just as quickly as she eats it. Really glad I put her in a round container; she's quite literally eating herself in circles. This is hilarious. This is likely going to keep going until she runs out of energy and passes out…I wonder if she can regenerate from this? Probably not; she doesn't regenerate quickly enough to keep up with her appetite.

Oh, man, though. That was quite the entertaining endeavor.


	7. Shitheads Inc

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Yeah, whatever.

**Warning:** The following chapter is more or less pure yukkuri torture, even more so than Chapter 2 was. Granted, most of the yukkuri in this chapter aren't terribly sympathetic either, but still, if this offends you, turn back now.

Shitheads Inc.

I spread out my array of sharp silver instruments and coated each in heated holy water. It was time to go vampire hunting…okay, not exactly, but kind of.

"Uuuu! Hello again, mister human! You brought cute Remilia pudding, right?"

"No, and you're not cute," I told the bodied Remilia, who started to puff up her cheeks even as she was frightened of the knife in my hand. Remilias are known to be very quick healers, which is why I chose to coat my implements in holy water and to heat it up first. (The silver bit was just for fun—I'm pretty sure Remilia-types aren't really vampires at all, and anyway I think that was supposed to be werewolves that are weak to silver.)

I started by hacking off its left leg, and it cried, "NOOOO! NOW HOW WILL REMILIA DO HER CUTE DANCE?"

"Your 'dance' involves falling flat on your face anyway. I'd think this would only help matters." Just to be on the safe side, I had a clamp among the implements, to sear each wound shut. Next up to unbalance this thing, the right wing.

"WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO REMILIA?"

"Because you're stupid and ugly and you eat other yukkuris."

I took away its hat, then shaved its head. "Remilia's hair! Uuu-uuu, give it back!" She reached for me.

"Idiot, I can't just 'give it back'." I took advantage of her grabbing motion and hacked off each and every one of her fingers.

"NOOO! STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT!"

"Right, before I forget, we're definitely going to have to de-fang you."

"Waah! Sdop id! Uuu, Wemiwia is gedding angwy!" She puffed up and turned her back towards me.

"Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about that!" The Remilias' gas attack. Something would have to be done about that. I shoved a fish-hook up the anyaru, jerked it around a bit, and then _ripped_ it out. The Remilia cried and cried, and even though I had been planning to take away one or both of its eyes far earlier in the sequence and only held off because I wanted it to be able to see all of the other things I was doing to it, I'm thinking maybe it would be better for torture purposes if I released the incomplete thing with its eyes intact. There it will be bait for the next shithead.

"Stupid yukkuri that can't take it easy! Die!"

Yes, you'll do.

"Reimu is hungry now! Want sweet-sweets! You, old geezer!" I'm not old. Stupid paste-brains. "Bring Reimu sweet-sweets!"

"_Me_? But you've just caught food all by yourself! Surely a great and powerful slayer of Remilia-types such as yourself doesn't need _my_ help to obtain food, does she?" Okay, that was probably unfair. There's no non-shithead way to respond to that. Either she can continue to demand food from me like a shithead, or she can believe that she actually legitimately killed a powerful Remilia-type all by herself and therefore get a wildly overrated self-opinion like a shithead.

"Maybe I should just eat _you_, shitty geezer!"

…However, a true shithead will always find a way to prove itself. I was kind of hoping she _would_ eat the Remilia-type like I suggested, since I wasn't sure if her reopening those wounds might allow Remilia to regenerate like normal again. Ah well… "That's awfully disrespectful of you. I think you need to be taught some manners." I pulled a single tooth from Reimu's mouth.

"Reimu's teeth that sparkle like diamonds! Shitty geezer should drop dead easy!"

"Don't make me continue to humiliate you." How about cutting a bit off of that ribbon?

"Reimu's ribbon! You'll be sorry, mister! Reimu is getting angry, and when Marisa finds out, she's going to kill you!"

"There's no Marisa around here," I said, extracting another tooth. "Now learn your place or things will get worse." Of course, they never learn. Eventually, I ran out of things to remove and had to start putting things _back_ in other places. Granted, the insults were becoming more and more slurred as she lost more teeth and were almost incomprehensible after I cut out her tongue, but by the end, her "teeth that sparkled like diamonds" were lining her anyaru, her "eyes that shined like stars in the sky" were on the sides of her head where her braids would normally be, her "fluffy mister braids" were in her mouth along with the rest of her hair and what was left of her ribbon (which had been cut to pieces), and coming out of her eye sockets were her "velvet tongue" and her Peni Peni. "Good, you're a lovely little freakshow. Let's see what Marisa thinks of you now!" I didn't know if there would actually be a Marisa there to receive her when I threw her back into the wild, but any yukkuri would do. With what I'd made, it would take a saint not to put her out of her misery.

"Scum! Drop dead easy, ze!"

Oh, this was too perfect.

"Ha ha! The great Marisa, slayer of scum, demands sweet-sweets! Get them now, or you'll be joining her! You wanna die?"

This one would be fun. I was all ready to grab her when fate threw me an even better gift. "Cute Marisa! Want to refresh with Alice!" That wasn't a question, as she forced herself upon the Marisa I was about to take away for torturing. Looks like this is going to be a two-for-one deal. I grabbed both yukkuri, trying to keep them separate (it wasn't easy, as Alice was constantly trying to escape my grasp to get closer to Marisa and Marisa was trying to escape to get away from Alice). I then burned Alice's "feet" to keep her from going anywhere and put her on the table, right near a clear plastic screen with a hole in it and facing away from said screen.

"Marisa demands that Mister punish that Alice. And then give Marisa sweet-sweets!"

"Yes…Bad Alice tried to rape you, right? Here, have these sweet-sweets, and then you can get your revenge on that nasty Alice." Fun fact: the Factory has managed to create a pill form of Viayugra. Before long, Marisa was horny as hell and was turning the tables on Alice, anally raping the "city sect" yukkuri. I kept her on a steady flow of it, and she became oblivious to everything around her except for raping the Alice-type.

"Ah! Stop it! Alice is being violated! Mister, help Alice! Mister? Why are you taking Alice's headband? What are you doing? NO! ALICE'S EYES! WHY!"

"Nhoooooo!" Marisa cried out. Good to hear that out of her.

She didn't even notice as I removed her hat and put it on Alice's head, cut off her braid and pasted it onto Alice, or even when I pulled her eyes out. Now for the fun part…I coated Alice's blue eyes with orange juice and placed them in Marisa's empty eye sockets, and then I did the same thing with Marisa's eyes and gave them to Alice. Then I put Alice's headband on Marisa's head. Time to cut the Viayugra feed and bring her back to reality. "So, Alice, are you finished raping Marisa yet?"

"Eh? What are you saying, stupid geezer? You wanna die, ze? Alice did not rape Marisa! Marisa raped Alice!"

"What are you talking about, Alice? Look at that Marisa you just finished raping."

"Why do you keep calling Marisa 'Alice'? You wanna die?" With Marisa's brown eyes, hat, and braid, Alice did indeed look quite a bit like a Marisa-type, especially to a stupid yukkuri that probably doesn't even pick up on things like eye color anyway. "Yuu? NOO! MARISA IS BAD! MARISA RAPED MARISA!"

"What are you talking about? You're Alice!" I gave her a mirror so that she could look at herself.

"Marisa is…Alice? But Marisa is Marisa! Alice is not Marisa…but Marisa is Alice, and Alice is Alice, but Alice is Marisa…"

"What is that country bumpkin yelling about?" Alice asked. "Oh? A mirror? Let Alice see how beautiful she is!" Though still unable to go anywhere, she stretched out and tried to lean over the barrier. I let her see herself. "Ahhh! Alice is ugly!"

"You said it was 'cute' before."

"What?"

"Marisa looked just like that, and you called her 'cute'. Does this mean that you don't find Marisa cute, or would you find her cute even if she was completely naked?"

"No…country bumpkins with no accessory must die. But why is there another Alice here, and why does Alice's anyaru hurt?"

"I don't think it does. Alice, does your anyaru hurt?" Marisa replied in the negative. "You must be mistaken, Marisa.

"But…I'm _Alice_!"

"You're Marisa."

"I'm Alice!"

Marisa seems sufficiently broken, and actually responded when I called her "Alice", so she can go free and become an Alice and then rape yukkuris and produce baby Marisas even though "neither" of the parents are Marisas, or even better, she can rape other Marisas and not produce any offspring at all…probably. Alice would need some more time before she accepts her new identity, so I'll keep her here, and then I'll heal her burnt feet. I couldn't help but wonder if my eye transplant actually _had_ made them into hybrids, and if they were hybrids now, would they be able to reproduce with members of their own types? Could normal hybrids reproduce with one of their parent types? I didn't know. …Damn, this was fun.


	8. Refreshingly Vampiric

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Disclaimer it easy!

The Strongest Predator

"Guu! Fwadwe ij ome!" The Flandre overturned the U-pack she was dragging along, dumping out its contents; it flew away as soon as it was free from her grip. "Daddy brought lots of sweet-sweets!"

"Jaaaoo~n! Spicy-spicies, too?" inquired her mate, a Meiling-type.

"Uh-huh!" Hence the need to commandeer a U-pack—lacking a body, Flandre would only be able to carry food in her mouth, and she couldn't handle the spicy foods that Meiling loved so much. "Little ones, eat up! Red ones are for Meilings only!"

The babies started to eat up. "Munch-munch…happinesh!" they said. Well, most of them…

"Munch-munch…HWOOOOOOOOOTTTT!"

Flandre instinctively slapped the back of the ko in question, causing it to spit out the spicy pepper. "Little one, what did I say about eating the red ones? They're too hot for Flans to handle!"

"Bud daddy…whach 'wed'?"

The Flandre just stared. "You don't know what red is? What about blue? Do you know what blue is?" The ko-Flandre indicated that it did not. Flandre tried to teach it by shaking its wing crystals one at a time, indicating each one's color. The little one _seemed_ to get it, but it turned out that it was just mirroring its parent, and when the grown Flandre crossed its wings and asked the child to pick out the yellow one, the little one could not do it. "Are you stupid? Wanna die? Stupid baby that doesn't know what colors are should just drop dead easy!" The father beat up its child and threw it out of the nest, leaving it to die. But of course, Flandre-types don't die so easily…

Elsewhere, a Cirno-type was floating lazily along. "Easy easy easy…eye'm flying in the sky…easy easy easy…"

"Uuuu!" A bird-legged Remirya swooped in. Cirno was just able to get down enough to avoid a direct hit, but the Remirya's claws managed to snatch its ribbon away. Cirno didn't notice this, and the next time Remirya tried to fly in, the Cirno blasted it with all the icy power it could muster, dropping its attacker out of the sky. Idiot that she was, however, she did this when Remirya was almost right above her, and got hit by the falling yukkuri. This was a mixed blessing, however, as by hitting another yukkuri rather than the ground, the Remiryasicle didn't shatter, and it deflected into the nearby lake, floating away and taking Cirno's ribbon with it. However, the impact had jarred Remirya's hat off of her and onto Cirno. Worn out from the struggle, Cirno rested.

"…Daddy?"

"Eh?" Cirno said sleepily. "Eye'm not your daddy…go away…"

"Daddddyyyyy!"

Cirno woke up. "Eye'm nobody's 'daddy'! Do eye _look_ like a 'daddy' to ewe?"

"…Jyou hab pweddy _wingsh_ wike daddy," said the color-blind ko-Flandre, which Cirno smugly smiled at, "an jyou hab a pweddy _had_ wike daddy…" The Flandre paused to consider all of this, and concluded, "Daddy."

"'Hat'? What?" Cirno suddenly noticed the hat that had fallen off of the Remirya. It was not the same color as the one Flandre and her father wore, but it was close enough that to one who could only see in shades of gray, it was close enough. "This…this isn't mine!" She took it off.

"Why ij daddy nod weawing had?"

"Because eye have a ribbon!" She looked up and realized that her ribbon was missing. "Where is ribbon?"

"Oo, Fwandwe knowj! Wibbon ij on had!" The little Flandre correctly pointed out that the hat was adorned with a ribbon—red, though she didn't know that.

"Well, eye'm Ci—" Cirno stopped. As stupid as she was, she still had enough survival instinct to realize that Flandre was a predator, and under normal circumstances, would try to eat her. And Cirno was in no condition to fight. Also, lacking a ribbon, wearing the Remirya's hat would be the best way to not be seen as an uneasy yukkuri, or so she thought. (Actually, those that could see normally would mistake her for a hybrid, which is just as uneasy a thing to be as accessoryless, but Cirno wasn't that smart.) "Eye'm not daddy. Eye'm…a big sister."

"Big shishda?"

"Y-yes, eye'm a big sister."

"Whey'sh mwommy an daddy?"

"Uh…eye don't know…but eye'll take care of you!"

"Guu! Rub-rub wid Fwandwe, ogay?"

"Okay…" Cirno was very scared, but managed to keep her cool.

Time passed, and Flandre grew stronger and better at hunting. She wasn't ever quite able to master "the cold wooooooooooo", as she called it, and couldn't understand why her big sister said that it wasn't something she could do. What she did know was that big sister was really cool and really pretty, and she didn't understand why all of the other yukkuri called her uneasy—or why they called her "Remilia", for that matter. Big sister was Flandre too, wasn't she?

To most yukkuri, the blue-haired, pink-hatted yukkuri looked like a Remirya, which was of course very scary, and an uneasy Remirya at that, as her wings were not bat wings like most Remiryas. To the color-blind Flandre, however, the crystalline wings and light-colored hat made her look like a Flandre. And of course, anyone (other than Flandre) who saw her ice breath would know that she was a Cirno—not that they'd be living long enough to identify her as such.

"Eye'm the strongest!" Cirno cried gleefully after another successful hunt that had yielded a number of frozen Daiyouseis.

"Big sister is so amazing! Flandre can't find those tasty things anywhere!"

"Yeah, well, ewe're a pretty good hunter too. Eye can't keep up with ewe, cute little sister." Forgetful as she was, Cirno had come to honestly believe that Flandre was her little sister, though she still knew she was a Cirno.

"Munch-munch…happiness! This shit's good!" Both yukkuri were in agreement. In her attempts to be a convincing big sister to Flandre, Cirno had taken to eating other yukkuri…and they were delicious.

"Rub-rub! Refreshing now!" Idiot that she was, Cirno thought Flandre was becoming refreshed by making poo-poo—which, granted, she was. But as poo-poo came out of Flandre's back end, her front end was nuzzling up against Cirno, with all of the affection in the world. And Cirno deeply cared for Flandre and enjoyed every other time they had rubbed with each other, so why should this be any different?

Because Flandre wasn't a ko anymore. And because Cirno _wasn't_ a Flan, and therefore could exchange filling seeds. Before long, Cirno was pregnant. "Guu? Big sister Flandre is having babies? But who is the daddy?"

"Eye…think ewe are."

"But Flandre and Flandre cannot have babies together?"

"Eye…eye'm not Flandre."

"Ewe look like Flandre." Some of Cirno's speech patterns had rubbed off on Flandre, too.

"Well, Flandre is not Flandre. Flandre is Cirno." Flandre looked confused.

"Guu! Eye'm da shwongesh eajy!"

"Oh! Big sister is Cirnoflandre!" Flandre was at once understanding and confused. She saw that all of the babies looked at least somewhat like her, but some of them also looked kind of like a Cirno. She had also seen what a pregnant yukkuri looked like—they'd caught many couples that were slowed down by one of them having a stalk or two—and knew that babies generally looked like one of the parents. And since she had never seen a regular yukkuri with a hybrid baby, she assumed that big sister was one, too. "That's why you can go 'wooooooooooo' and make it all cold, right?"

"Cirno…flandre?" She looked up at the baby that had spoken. It had blue hair, a green ribbon, and a blank stare, just like a Cirno-type, but rather than free-floating ice crystal wings, it had the same rainbow-colored wings as its three pure-Flandre sisters. Another one had normal Cirno-type wings, but had blonde hair with a side ponytail like a Flandre, and its ribbon was the same color as a Flandre's hat. "Cirno's babies look weird…"

Flandre puffed up. "Guu! Flandre's babies are not weird! Flandre's babies are beautiful! Take good care of them, okay!"

"Okay! Eye'll take care of babies!"

Flandre calmed down. "Eye love ewe, big sister Cirnoflandre."

"Eye…eye love ewe two, Flandre."

* * *

><p>CCX: That story really couldn't have worked with almost any other breed of yukkuri, because most of them speak in the third person and would've identified themselves to colorblind Flandre right away. In the interest of full disclosure, I came up with the idea for this when I saw a black-and-white comic on One Yukkuri Place and registered a yukkuri shown (rather small) in one panel as being a Flandre, then noticed the tags afterwards, wondering where the Cirno was, and then taking a better look and seeing that the crystal wings were aligned in the wrong pattern for a Flan and the right one for a Cirno. (It was being carried by a Remirya, which is why the accessory didn't give it away.) It got me to thinking—would a yukkuri that couldn't see in color possibly mistake a Cirno with the wrong accessory for a Flandre?<p>

* * *

><p>Rather Disturbing<p>

"Onii-san! Will you refresh with cute Marisa? Please?"

It took everything in my power not to cry out in pain, as the shock of this request made me bite my tongue. "Marisa? What are you talking about? I'm a human, not a yukkuri! We can't refresh together!" I'd heard that there were _some_ deviants that ordered bodied yukkuris for the purpose of having sex with them, but I was pretty sure that those were Factory-bred to desire humans. My pet Marisa was not Factory-bred at all (not first-generation, anyway—I think the pet store I shopped at did receive their adults from the Factory, but this one was a ko born in the store), and furthermore it wasn't even bodied.

"Marisa doesn't want to refresh with some rotten yukkuri! Marisa wants to have cool onii-san's babies!"

"Onii-san." It always did make me happy that she called me that—while I was by no means old, yukkuris usually thought of anyone over the age of 25 as old, and I'm 30. Still single at age 30… "Even if I wanted to, I don't think I could fit inside your little mamu mamu."

"Marisa can stretch! Marisa will make it big enough!"

"Marisa…it really would be better if you refreshed with another yukkuri." Marisa refused to relent. Day after day she would ask me. Finally, after a week of this, she was so horny that she said, "Fine…Marisa will refresh with a yukkuri. But no nasty Alices!" I started to head out. "Or dirty trash Reimus!" Right…okay, so I need to find a good mate for a Marisa, but not an Alice or a Reimu. A Patchouli, maybe? Nah, with how headstrong and energetic my little one is, she'd probably end up accidentally killing it. A Nitori? …No, I've heard stories about Nitoris; very bad things. Creepy-creepy, and they're also supposed to be predators.

…Predators…maybe a predator-type wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, although if it was possible to get one that didn't actually _know_ how to hunt…

"…Yes, I said I wanted a Flandre that _can't_ hunt. I'm not looking for pest control; I need something my Marisa will mate with; she said she didn't want an Alice or a Reimu, and she's too energetic for any Patchy to handle." The pet shop owner asked why I'm catering to her demands, and I told him, "Because I'm just grateful that she's willing to accept a yukkuri; she spent the past week asking _me_ to refresh with her." Yeah, I know, I do spoil my yukkuri a bit too much and let that gold badge of hers go to her head. But like I said, I'm still single even at age 30; Marisa is all I've got for companionship.

"Do you think maybe she'd like a hybrid? We've got some nice hybrids in, and I'm sure a little one as demanding as yours would love something unique."

"I don't know. Hmm…maybe I should just let her pick one out." I hung up.

"Yuu? Onii-san is back very soon. Did you forget something again?"

"Well, I was _going_ to go out and get another cute yukkuri for you to play with…but I realized that it would probably better if you chose for yourself."

"Yuu?" Marisa looked confused, then looked even more confused when I picked her up. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to the pet store. I'm letting you choose your new mate."

Naturally, the yukkuris reacted to the pet Marisa coming in. The Alices went crazy for her, but of course she ignored them or looked down upon them. The Reimus also started singing happily, trying to win us over, but Marisa wasn't interested in such a common yukkuri (even though Marisa-types are almost as common as Reimu-types.) A Patchouli calmly tried to state its case, but Marisa agreed with my assessment that it was too lethargic. There were some Chen happily trying to get our attention, and I thought that might work, but Marisa didn't seem to agree. In fact, the only yukkuri in the front section that held her attention at all were…her fellow Marisas. She also tried to get out of my arms on multiple occasions so that she could browse the store herself, but I was afraid she'd get stepped on and wouldn't let her go. We went to the back section, where they keep the bodied yukkuri—and of course, she was in heaven. (A natural reaction given her apparent attraction to me.) She thought Reisen was beautiful…until she opened her mouth and out came "gera gera". The flying Flandres and Remilias also interested her, and she thought they reciprocated, but I calmly informed her that the reason they were drooling is because they _eat_ Marisa-types. An Alice-type seemed very interested in her, but even bodied, Marisa found Alices to be repulsive. She showed more attraction to a bodied Marisa, whose response was, "Are you stupid? Drop dead easy, ze!"

"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" she cried.

The Satori and Koishi that we found next weren't very interested in her, either, and mercifully she showed no interest in Creepy Nitori. She got scared by a Kimeemaru, so I covered her eyes until we were past it. By the time it was considered "safe to come out"…

"Wow…it's like falling into a time machine!"

Um, what? Well, at any rate, the yukkuri that surrounded us were all considered very rare—too rare for my budget. I told Marisa this. "But they're all so pretty! Well, except for that uneasy thing over there." Of course—the one thing in the PC-98 section that was considered common enough that I might be able to afford it, a Yukkuri Yuuka. But I wonder…would PC-98 versions of the types she disdained be enough to placate her? And if it came to it, could a PC-98 _Marisa_ be a viable mate? (Not that I could afford one—I'd sooner be able to get the Yukkorange she'd been eyeing.)

"Ma…risa? Are you Marisa?"

"Yu! I'm Marisa!" She happily jumped out of my arms and into the enclosure for the yukkuri that had addressed her and began to rub. It was a bodied yukkuri, but a small one—didn't look like a ko, though. I wasn't sure about the rarity, but it was very shy and polite…the exact opposite of what most people are looking for in an Alice. "Marisa is taking it easy with cute yukkuri!"

"Alice will take it easy with Marisa!"

"Alice?" Marisa seemed a bit confused. "No, Alice isn't that cute. Alice has a red hairband, and her eyes are blue and full of lewd intentions. This yukkuri has a blue hairband and pretty gold eyes that are full of kindness."

"Ma-Marisa…you're making Alice blush…"

"Alice…" Marisa was puzzled. "So lewd leering yukkuri is Alice, and beautiful golden yukkuri is also Alice?"

"Alice doesn't know about any lewd yukkuri with lustful eyes…but Alice is Alice, and Alice thinks Marisa is very cute, too."

"Onii-san? Can this Alice be my partner?"

I checked the price. Yeah, definitely very reasonable for this section of the store. "Sure."

"Yu! Happiness! Uuu…can't wait to get home and feel Alice's braggable peni peni inside of her!"

"Ma-Marisa…that's so embarrassing…also Alice doesn't have a peni peni."

"…Doesn't have a peni peni? But all yukkuri have peni penis and mamu mamus, don't they?"

"Alice has a mamu mamu, but…it doesn't turn into a peni peni."

"That's…weird. Has Alice ever tried?"

"Well, no…but it's not really something Alice wants to do…it's kind of, well, 'crude'…"

"Yufufufu…it's okay. Marisa will be the daddy, then."

"Ah…" The Alice-type blushed. "Alice would like that…"

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><p>CCX: To be honest, the preplanning for this one stopped with the idea to get a Flandre that wouldn't eat the Marisa. Everything else was just made up on the fly.<p>

* * *

><p>Even More Disturbing<p>

"Uuu! Remirya smells pudding! Gimme pudding gimme pudding!"

"Nhooooo! Remilia is so cute and city sect!" The Remilia tried to bite into the Alice. "So tsundere…such a cute tsundere!"

"Noooooo! Why are you doin this do cude Remirya!" The Alice, desperately trying to keep the Remilia's fangs at bay, reached up and grabbed Remilia's hat, throwing it to the ground behind her. "Remirya's cude had!" Remilia turned around and bent over to pick up her hat, and Alice quickly dropped her own bloomers to the ground and leapt on the Remilia-type, ripping off her bloomers and pulling her pink dress up. "Why you do this? Remirya's cude anus! Id hurds!"

"Stop talking like a country bumpkin, cute Remilia!" Alice was not pleased with Remilia's impaired speech. "You're an ojou-sama, aren't you?"

"Y-yes…"

"Then start acting like one. Let's get you out of these dirty rags." Alice deftly tore Remilia's dress in two. She could barely contain herself, and had to drop her own skirt down.

"Iz…Iz dis whad an ojou-sama doez?" Remilia asked.

"Of course…all the best ones do." Alice had stripped down completely as well, and was rubbing her doughy nipples against Remilia's wings, which stimulated them.

"Uuu…feelz good! Remi wanch do do id, doo!" She turned around. "Tread cude Remirya's peni peni wid respech!"

She thrust at Alice, who wasn't prepared to receive and had to react quickly to avoid crashing peni penis; it hit her in the midriff instead. Alice pushed Remilia to the ground, but just before Remi could start crying, Alice began to suck on the peni peni. "Nhooo…I'm coming!"

"Uuu! Come in cude Remirya, pwease!" Remilia's stubby arms lifted Alice up and spun her around, so that Alice's peni peni was now near Remilia's mouth, and she started to suck on the aroused Alice. "Uuu~ Uuu~…id'z pudding! Alish iz full of pudding!"

"!" It started out as a cry of pleasure, but soon it was becoming uncomfortable as Remilia continued to suck out her custard. "Stop it! Alice is refreshed already! You're sucking up too much!" CHOMP. A large piece of Alice's groin was suddenly missing, and Remilia was hungrily lapping up the juices. "ALICE'S BRAGGABLE PENI PENI! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"

"Uuu~ Remirya iz an ojou-sama!" Alice had had enough, and although Remilia was a predatory type, bodied Remilia's are actually among the clumsiest of bodied yukkuris. Alice threw her around, ripped her wings off, and tore at her chest, and just to add to the insult, tore her hat to shreds. "Why you do dis?"

"Because you're a country bumpkin! Now, you stole Alice's beautiful, braggable peni peni away from her, and for Alice, Peni Peni is life! Alice needs a new one!" With Remilia already all beaten up, she didn't put up a fight as Alice tore away her nether region and ran off with it, all the while trying to hold her custard inside of her. She then got to work attaching the foreign peni peni to her own body. While Remilia's peni peni had been smaller than hers, her Alice Raper powers made it as strong and as braggable as her old one had been. It also had another added benefit: Even though she had drained Remilia's filling from it before attaching it so as not to contaminate her own custard with Remilia's meat, it seemed that it still had some of its old owner's powers. It could regenerate on its own—which combined with her own powers meant that she could have _hundreds_ of Peni Pentacles active at once—and it would occasionally still produce Koremilias, which Alice found useful because she had a tendency to rape and run, which led to a lot of yukkuri wanting vengeance. Any yukkuri she impregnated with Koremilias, however, would usually be _eaten_ shortly after giving birth…

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><p>CCX: Raper Alice is a lot more disturbing when she's bodied, isn't she? And of course, having her rape a predator makes it even worse. It just so happens that Alice is filled with Remilia's favorite food, at that, so…it was only natural. But damn, that ending is pure nightmare fuel…<p> 


	9. An Ojousama's Duty

Yukkuri Story  
>by Cyberchao X<p>

Disclaimer: Disclaimer it easy!

CCX: Unfortunately that's about _all_ that's easy. Some quick follow-ups to last chapter, but I'd rather have a new chapter of _The Adventures of Team 9 Catering…_or _The Scarlet Devil 2_ (which I hadn't started writing when I first started this chapter).

An Ojou-Sama's Duty

"Zaguya!" Remilia whined, still trying to regenerate from her encounter with Alice. Sakuya came running—well, bouncing—at the sound of Remilia's voice.

"Trash yukkuri! What have you done with ojou-sama?" Sakuya started to attack Remilia.

"Zaguya! Id'z me! Id'z Remirya!" She struggled to get up, throwing Sakuya off of her, and started dancing. "Uuu~ uuu~…zee?"

"Ojou…sama? What happened? Who did this to ojou-sama? Sakuya will kill them!"

"Id waz…Arize."

"Sakuya will take care of it. But first…ojou-sama needs to get dressed."

"Zaguya?"

"Yes, ojou-sama?"

"Iz id drue dad a good ojou-zama refreshes a rod?"

Sakuya started blushing. "Refresh? Ojou-sama wants to…" She couldn't contain herself. "Sakuya is not worthy of having ojou-sama's babies, but…be gentle." She presented herself to Remilia, waiting for Remilia to stick it in.

Remilia seemed confused. "Babies? Whad babies have do do wiv diz?"

Sakuya was equally confused now. "Th-that's what refreshing is for, isn't it? To have babies?"

"Oh."

"You seem disappointed, ojou-sama."

"Remirya needs do jooze garefurry." (A/N: Okay, this is starting to get annoying).

An interruption. "Trash yukkuri!"

"Not even worth eating!"

"Ewe're gonna die!" Yes, it was the same family of Flandres and Cirno-Flandre hybrids from the previous chapter. Due to some quirk of the hybridization process, both Cirnoflandres now had bodies. Further confusing things, the blue-haired one had Flandre's dress and the blonde one had Cirno's. However, both had Levantines.

Remilia was enamored with the blonde one, which she recognized as looking somewhat like Flandre, but with prettier wings (in her opinion).

Sakuya, on the other hand, recognized the mother Cirno as a non-Remilia with a Remilia hat, and seeing as how her ojou-sama was currently naked, it was obvious what had to be done—steal that hat. "Stealthy…stealthy…" Unfortunately for Sakuya, she lacked the time powers of the real Sakuya Izayoi, and was easily caught and eaten by the father Flandre.

"Uu~! Remirya iz an ojou-zama! Don'd ead Remirya! Wand do refresh!"

"Like eye'd refresh with _ewe._"

"So disgusting."

"Kimoi," agreed one of the Flandres.

"No, not Kimeemaru…just Shameimaru." The yukkuri in question sped in and knocked the three non-bodied yukkuris away.

"Shama-zan!"

"Heh, looks like it's my turn to save you…Geez, what happened to you?"

"What the heck?" asked the father Flandre.

"Die!" the blue-haired Cirnoflandre cried out.

"Alize did diz," Remilia explained to the Aya-type, who was busy dodging the attacks of the two bodied Cirnoflandres. She knew she wouldn't be able to defeat them, so she was counting on them exhibiting the typical Cirno stupidity and hoping to get them to hit each other. So far, however, they had yet to try to attack from opposite sides.

"Ooh, harsh, harsh."

"What are ewe to doing? Attack Remilia!" Cirno chided, as her children continued to try to chase Aya.

"Remilia?" Lacking any accessories, the children didn't even recognize Remilia for what she was.

"Well, she said she was Remilia."

"Trash Remilia with no hat should die!" they both proclaimed, turning away from Aya and zooming towards Remilia. Aya quickly noticed and slammed into the blue-haired one, which teetered and remained in the air, but was slowed down. This gave Remilia the opportunity she wanted—one-on-one with the cute blonde Cirnoflandre.

Unfortunately for her, it didn't last long, as even before her bodied sister recovered from Aya's latest attack, the three young Flandres were on top of her. She grabbed two of them, one in each hand, and squashed the third with them. The shake-up naturally caused their Peni-Penis to involuntarily arise, but she ignored this and threw them away—where, now aroused, they flew off in search of someone to refresh with. This, however, allowed Cirnoflandre a chance to attack. She sank her fangs into Remilia's neck, and Remilia cried out, slightly in pain, but more aroused than anything else. Cirnoflandre smashed Remilia with Levantine, but Remilia didn't fall, nor did she stop trying to undress the Cirnoflandre. Oblivious as she was, Cirnoflandre was too engrossed with eating Remilia that she failed to notice until it was too late that her dress had been pushed halfway up her chest and her panties were missing, and Remilia's peni peni was securely inside her mamu mamu. "Rapist! Rapist trash!" As soon as she mentioned rape, her parents came over to try to defend their child, but lacking bodies, they couldn't take Aya's high-speed tackles, and Aya also did what Sakuya couldn't—grab Cirno's Remilia hat. Unfortunately, Blue-haired Cirnoflandre was also still headed for Remilia, and before Aya could get the hat onto Remi's head, the Cirnoflandre batted it clear off of Remilia's neck.

"AHHHHHHHHH! WHY YOU DO DIZ DO REMIRYA!" Even with a hat, the two yukkuris had decided that she was trash, and squashed her head and ate it up.

The colorblind Flandre seemed slightly confused when she came to and found her mate looking very much like a regular Cirno, but as it was she no longer saw Cirnos as food due to her mate being related to them, and she retrieved "her mate's" hat from the dead Remilia. However, Remilia's legacy wasn't completely lost. The blonde Cirnoflandre became pregnant, and because it was a mammalian pregnancy, there was no room for abortion. There were three babies. One was a pure Remilia, and this one was killed on birth, and one looked exactly like its mother (sans body, though that would grow eventually), and was kept…but the third was also kept despite a complete lack of Flandre traits, as it was a Remirno—blue hair (style closer to Remi's, but the shade of blue was Cirno's), blue ribbon, vampire fangs, bat wings. Later on it would gain a body, and with it, clothing that was like Remilia's from the waist down and Cirno's from the waist up. Given its family, it naturally identified as a Flandre, though it still spoke like a Cirno. As for the two Flandres that flew off during the battle, they ended up fathering children as well, and though they didn't stick around, the ko-Flans ended up eating their mothers and non-Flan sisters anyway, and eventually also joined their fathers' family.

* * *

><p>CCX: Yeah, I have no idea where Aya came from. She just did. There was going to be a follow-up to the other story of the previous chapter, but I can't figure out how to make it more than a couple of sentences long.<p> 


End file.
